Coping with Chaos: Tips for Staying Sane During Trying Times
Episode Description
2020 was the year for living with chaos. Everything—at home, at work, and at school—is out of sync and changing from day to day. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Dakota Family Services psychologist, Dr. Megan Spencer, shares simple tips for building routine and structure into your life. She also provides an excellent, yet simple, way to ground yourself when you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious.What to Expect
- Understand the importance of routine and structure.
- Learn how to deal with family chaos.
- Discover simple ways to ground yourself.
Things to Think About
- Practice using the five senses exercise to ground yourself in the moment.
- Create routine and structure that works for everyone in your family.
- Explore ways to minimize distractions.
About the Hosts
Dr. Megan Spencer is passionate about providing therapy for children (ages 12+), therapy for adults, and therapy for families. She finds joy in helping people better understand themselves and their psychological functioning; and is excited to work with anyone looking to better understand and/or improve themselves or their children and families. In addition to individual therapy, Dr. Spencer provides diagnostic and psychological evaluations.
Transcript
Coping with Chaos: Tips for Staying Sane During Trying Times
Featuring Dr. Megan Spencer, Psychologist, Dakota Family Services
Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic located in Minot, Bismarck, and Fargo North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode. As we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness. Learn practical tips for managing our mental health and wellbeing and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to mind your mind. Welcome to this episode of Mind Your Mind.
Tim Unsinn:
Our guest is Dr. Megan Spencer. Dr. Spencer is a clinical psychologist and provides diagnostic and psychological evaluations and CBT in Fargo. Dr. Spencer, it is great to have you on.
Megan Spencer:
Hi. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.
Tim Unsinn:
Well today, we're going to be talking about self-care and family care. However, before we get to the topic, there's always that first question I ask all of our guests and that is why do you do what you do?
Megan Spencer:
It's as simple as the fact that I really, really do enjoy helping people. I love helping them figure out why they're feeling the way that they're feeling, helping them understand themselves better and understand some of the things that they're doing and why they're doing it.
Tim Unsinn:
All right today, talking self-care and family care. And I can't imagine anyone really that's not feeling just a little bit stressed or feeling like life's just a little bit chaotic right now. So if we're feeling like that and our life's in chaos, what can we do?
Megan Spencer:
It's really important that once you recognize that, that you sort of stop yourself in that moment and figure out what you can do to get yourself in some sort of routine, right? So the problem is we feel like we have so many things to do every day, that week, that month. And so trying to focus on everything at once can be really overwhelming. And so if you're feeling like chaos, it's so important to just sit down, get a piece of paper and start giving yourself some structure and routine. What do you want to accomplish in the morning? What do you want to accomplish during your day, during your evening? And that way you can give yourself that structure. So you can incorporate those things that are important, but not feel so overwhelmed by them.
Tim Unsinn:
So what are some tips or ideas for us? You know, I'm thinking about if I'm overwhelmed, I often don't think about the things that distract me. So what are some tips maybe to bring me back to creating that distraction from the chaos?
Megan Spencer:
So there's a few things you can do if, if we're, you know, if we're focused on creating a routine and structure, that's really looking at, okay, what time do I want to get up in the morning? Right. And what are the things that are really important for me to accomplish? Maybe that's I need to, I would really like to exercise in the morning, right? That's going to help distract from your own stress, but also helps you to feel like you're already starting out your day by doing something positive. And then it's okay, what time do I want to get the kids up? Then I can help the kids, right? Get some structure and some routine. That way I know what they're doing, I know what I need to accomplish. And that way we can all be on the same page. Now, if you're talking about individual distraction, go back to those things that if you think back to times when it was less stressful and those things that you really enjoy and you love doing, and just made you happy, think about those things and how you can not only incorporate those things into your structure and routine.
Megan Spencer:
Right. But also if you're feeling so overwhelmed, just stop for that moment and take some time to, you know, 10 or 15 minutes of reading or listening to some music or going and spending time with pets. Right. If you have them, because pets are amazing. And they're so comforting,
Tim Unsinn:
We are in that point of, of, you know, finding, looking for distractions, we're finding our own, self-help in doing that. What are the rules and guidelines? If we see someone else in chaos, how do we approach that situation without being like, I know it all, you know?
Megan Spencer:
Yep. You know, usually I say, you know, put yourself in their place, right. And so if you notice maybe it's your spouse, or maybe it's your son or your daughter, or even a parent, right. Go to them and just say, look, you know, I've been feeling really overwhelmed and this is what I did to help myself. So if, if you're feeling the same way that I am, because I know a lot of people are, think about something that you really love and just incorporating that in your day.
Tim Unsinn:
Well, I think at two, we talking about, you know, self care and family care, we're talking a lot about our own self care at this point. But how about that, that family chaos? What are some ideas there?
Megan Spencer:
So here's something that's kind of cool, you know, with people spending a lot more time indoors with their families, they've started some new routines, like more family dinners or having a family game night or a family movie night, right. That not only helps to de-stress, but it's fun. And you, you know, if you're having family dinners and you plan those out a couple of nights a week, that's a way to connect. And if one of the kids are struggling, that's their opportunity to say, Hey mom, or, Hey dad, you know, this was really hard for me this week, but open it up by you saying it too. By the parents modeling for the kids to talk about the stress, but incorporating those opportunities to sit down as a family and just reconnect.
Tim Unsinn:
Or the family that is extremely extroverted. The technology today is, is just so easy to do a group connection time on zoom or Skype or FaceTime. So bring that social time together and maybe eliminate some chaos that way.
Megan Spencer:
Yes, absolutely. And even with extended family that, you know, even before all of this spending more time indoors and sort of isolating in some degree, reconnect with those family members that are living in other that maybe you just didn't think about connecting through zoom in that way and doing family game nights. Cause there's some really cool technology out there that you can do through apps and zoom where you can play games over zoom with other family members or,
Tim Unsinn:
And I heard somebody share an idea once about doing puzzle competition. So each family gets the same puzzle ready, set, go. And it's
Megan Spencer:
Awesome. Yes, definitely.
Tim Unsinn:
All right. So what are some other helpful coping tips or other statements we can use in the process?
Megan Spencer:
So one thing, honestly, I really, I teach a lot of people that I see when they're feeling kind of panicky or overwhelmed. And in that moment, there's a grounding exercise. That's really simple and really easy to do. And it's something that you can do anywhere. And to be honest, people don't really even know you're doing it. And so this can be a really good way to ground yourself and calm yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed or kind of extra anxious or panicky. And what it is is it's, it's using your senses and it's five, four, three, two, one. And so five is five things you can see. Four things you can touch. Three things you can hear. Two things you can smell. And one thing you can taste. And so what that's doing is it's grounding you in your environment versus you focusing on that panicky, that anxious, that overwhelmed feeling. And so what it does is it helps calm you.
Tim Unsinn:
I love that five four, three, two one. So now I'm the guy that says NC squirrel. So I caught five. So one more time for us is a five, four, three, two. Yeah,
Megan Spencer:
Absolutely. So it's five things. You can see four things, you can touch three things. You can hear two things you can smell. And one thing you can taste. I was like mealtime at the house.
Megan Spencer:
Other people will use like gum or mints or little mini chocolates once they get to that point. And you can do this over and over again until you feel yourself calm.
Tim Unsinn:
You're listening to mind your mind. Our guest is Dr. Megan, Spencer and Dr. Spencer, any other thoughts on self-care? Family care?
Megan Spencer:
Last thing is just brief statements. You can tell yourself in a moment like this won't last forever. This too shall pass. I can handle this, right? Those can be soothing and calming statements that can help in a split second
Tim Unsinn:
Thinking, pick up a history book and just look at history and yeah, things are going to be okay. It's all going to calm down. It'll all be better. So thank you so much for your time. However, before we go, before we wrap up, there's that final question that we ask all of our guests. What do you do to personally mind your mind?
Megan Spencer:
I do a few things. Luckily I have three dogs at my house and I definitely love spending time with them and they are wonderful, wonderful companions on top of that. I love to spend time obviously with my child and my husband, and we go to the lakes on the weekend, which is sort of my peaceful place and where I just let go of all my work and everything. And I can just really relax. Other than that on a day-to-day basis, it's really about leaving work at work. And when I walk out that door, I do my best to leave it in my office.
Tim Unsinn:
It has been a pleasure. Thank you for sharing your time and your talent with us on Mind Your Mind. Thank you for helping me have a good day. Thank you for joining us for Mind your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to Mind Your Mind. For more information links, to additional resources, contact information, and much more go to Dakotafamilyservices.org.
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Although the stigma surrounding mental health is gradually disappearing, it can still be tricky knowing how to talk about it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychologist Megan Spencer explore how to have a conversation with someone about their mental health, including signs that you should talk to them, how to start the conversation, and some possible reactions to expect from the other person.;
The Benefits of Being Outside
Are you feeling cooped up indoors? Join host Tim Unsinn and therapist Lucas Mitzel in this episode of Mind Your Mind as they discuss the importance of getting outside on your mental health. Learn about the benefits of green and blue spaces, activities you can do while outside, and how being outside can help improve symptoms of different mental health diagnoses.;
Dealing With Burnout
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Tim Unsinn talks with psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski about the signs of burnout, how to prevent it, and how to know if your burnout is related to general life stressors or a mental health disorder. They also talk about the difference between fatigue and burnout, as well as how to support yourself and alleviate burnout when you’re experiencing it.;
Living with Chronic Illness
Many of us know someone who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, or have been diagnosed with one ourselves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how chronic illness can impact daily living and mental health, as well as how to seek support if you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness.;
Bipolar Disorder: Understanding the Highs and Lows
Although the term ‘bipolar’ is sometimes used as slang to describe someone who is moody or indecisive, true bipolar disorder is a complex and sometimes severe mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn discusses bipolar disorder with nurse practitioner Amanda Daggett, touching on what the disorder is, what its symptoms look like, and how it can be treated.;
Social Media: Managing Emotions & Setting Boundaries
How much time do you spend each day looking at your phone? An hour or two? Multiple hours? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with therapist Christy Wilkie to discuss how social media use can impact our mental health, relationships, and behavior. Learn tips for monitoring your child’s internet use, as well as how to manage your own time spent on social media.;
Understanding OCD
While OCD is sometimes perceived as simply a desire to keep things neat and organized, it can actually have much more severe symptoms for those who experience it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with psychologist Dr. Megan Spencer to talk about who Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affects, what its signs and symptoms are, and how to seek help if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with OCD.;
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits can be easy to start but sometimes very difficult to stop. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Falan Johnson talk about breaking bad habits, including where habits come from, how to know if a habit is bad, and steps you can take to stop it.;
Finding a Therapist
Are you looking for some help on your mental health journey? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Jessie Mertz talk about how to find a therapist, including what you should know when searching and what questions to ask when you meet a therapist for the first time. They also touch on what the letters after a therapist’s name mean, and how they apply to the type of services or treatment you might be looking for.;
Coping with Rejection
Whether it’s from asking someone on a date or applying for a job, we all experience rejection at some point in our lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how to cope with rejection, including the common coping stages, the importance of acceptance, and how rejection can impact people differently.;
Borderline Personality Disorder
Like other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is a commonly misunderstood and stigmatized mental illness. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about what BPD is, how it affects someone’s behavior, and where to seek treatment if your child has been diagnosed with BPD.;
Psychological Assessments: What to Expect
Do you think you might be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder? If so, a psychological assessment might be able to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski and host Tim Unsinn talk about what to expect from a psychological assessment, including what an assessment might include, what information you might receive from the psychologist, and what you should communicate with your psychologist before and after receiving an assessment.;
Supplements in Psychiatry
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and Amanda Daggett explore the topic of using supplements for mental health. In addition to talking about some of the most commonly used supplements like melatonin and St. John’s Wort, they also discuss the benefits, the risks, and the research surrounding various supplements.;
Seasonal Affective Disorder (Community Chat Series)
Feeling like you’ve got the winter blues? If you’re noticing symptoms of depression with the change of seasons, it may be a sign that you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. In this special Community Chat episode of Mind Your Mind, therapists Christy Wilkie and Lucas Mitzel discuss the common symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, how it can affect other mental health disorders, and some useful tips, tricks, and resources for managing symptoms of SAD.;
Trying New Things With Confidence
Join Christy and Lucas, therapists at Dakota Family Services, as they share practical tips for building confidence when trying new things. From managing self-doubt to building resilience, this episode will empower you to approach new experiences with a positive mindset.;
Relationships are Hard
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore why relationships can be so hard. Join them as they discuss the characteristics of both healthy and toxic relationships, talk about the difference between normal conflict and abuse, and help you discover your love languages so you and your partner can best express your love to each other.;
Is Everybody Anxious?
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore anxiety. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder, what you can do to decrease your anxiety, and how to best help loved ones struggling with anxiety.;
Is Everyone Feeling Sad
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore depression. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, what you can do to help yourself feel better, and what you can do to help your loved ones. They will talk about coping strategies, therapy interventions, and ways to help you identify when your child might need extra help.;
Change is Hard
Change is inevitable. Join Christy and Lucas as they explore big and small changes and how they impact you. Learn why change can be so hard, even good change, and discover ways to manage it effectively.;
We Need to Talk About Suicide
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Christy and Lucas discuss the very important topic of suicide. Listen to learn about risk factors, warning signs, and what you can do to help a loved one who is struggling. Remember, you are not alone. If you need immediate assistance, call 911. If you need to talk to someone, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.;
Do We Need to Get Outside?
Join Lucas and Christy as they explore the power of spending time outdoors on mental and emotional well-being. Discover practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert insights on the benefits of getting outside and reconnecting with nature.;
Exploring ADHD
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy discuss ADHD, shedding light on its prevalence and impact on daily life. Learn practical strategies for managing symptoms and understand why your friend or loved one with ADHD does the things they do.;
Internet Safety and Mental Health
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", join our hosts Christy and Lucas as they delve into the complex relationship between the internet and mental health. With the digital age bringing information and social connections to our fingertips, it also presents unique challenges and opportunities for our safety and psychological well-being.;
Boosting Self-Esteem: From Marathons to Daily Triumphs
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", Christy and Lucas discuss how common it is for people to see themselves differently from others. Using their own personal triumphs and challenges as examples, they outline the things that shape our self-esteem. Additionally, they share simple daily practices to help listeners recognize and celebrate their own personal victories. This episode is filled with tips and engaging stories aimed at encouraging listeners to undertake challenges that foster self-growth and personal confidence.;
Therapy Unveiled: What to Know Before You Go
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Lucas and Christy talk about what it's like to begin therapy. Feeling apprehensive about starting therapy is normal, but surmountable. Together, Lucas and Christy unravel common myths about therapy and emphasize the role of therapy in disrupting negative life patterns and routines that are no longer serving you.;
Coping with the Back-to-School Blues
In the latest episode of “Is It Just Me?” Christy and Lucas tackle the transition from leisurely summer days to structured school schedules with warmth and wisdom. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance and strategies to help navigate the shift with confidence. Learn how to handle changes in routine, the importance of communication, and strategies to help the entire family adjust to and embrace the new normal. Listening to this episode can be your first step toward making back-to-school a season of growth and positive change for all.;
The Art of Overcoming Trauma
In this month’s episode of the "Is It Just Me?" podcast, Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie, Dakota Family Services, dive into the complexities of trauma and its therapy. The episode sheds light on Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and the importance of creating a trauma narrative as a cornerstone of healing. The thoughtful discussions aim to educate listeners on the intricacies of trauma, the innovative methods used in therapy, and the role of caregivers in the recovery process. Through expert insights and compassionate storytelling, Lucas and Christy provide practical advice and real-world examples for individuals who have experienced trauma.;
Navigating Life Through Mindfulness
In this episode of “Is It Just Me?”, Lucas and Christy delve into the world of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. From body scans to mindfulness exercises, they provide a soothing experience to help you unwind and distress. Discover practical tips and advice on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine and learn how to prioritize mental well-being in today's fast-paced world.;
Mindfulness: Body Scan
In this special additional episode of “Is It Just Me” join therapist Lucas Mitzel as he gives listeners a transformative journey within their own body and mind. In this episode, Lucas guides listeners through a soothing body scan to promote calm, mindfulness, and inner peace. This episode offers a unique mixdown of gentle narration, and relaxation techniques, leaving you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and more connected to yourself.;
Beyond the Labels: Dismantling Myths About Mental Health
In this podcast episode of “Is It Just Me?” Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie delve deep into the prevalent stigma and myths surrounding mental health. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they aim to challenge misconceptions, break down barriers, and promote greater understanding and empathy towards people dealing with mental health challenges.;