“Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski
“Just Sit” by Sukey and Elizabeth Novogratz
“A Book that Takes its Time” by Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst
“Deep Listening” by Jillian Pransky
Dr. Megan Spencer is passionate about providing therapy for children (ages 12+), therapy for adults, and therapy for families. She finds joy in helping people better understand themselves and their psychological functioning; and is excited to work with anyone looking to better understand and/or improve themselves or their children and families. In addition to individual therapy, Dr. Spencer provides diagnostic and psychological evaluations.
Featuring Dr. Megan Spencer, Psychologist, Dakota Family Services
Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to "Mind Your Mind," a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic located in Minot, Bismarck and Fargo, North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode as we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness, learn practical tips for managing our mental health and wellbeing, and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to Mind Your Mind.
Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to this episode of Mind Your Mind. Our guest is Dr. Megan Spencer. Dr. Spencer is a clinical psychologist and provides diagnostic and psychological evaluations and CBT. Dr. Spencer, great to have you on Mind Your Mind. The topics are relaxation and stress reduction. However, before we get to the topic, let's talk about why you do what you do. Why is your work important to you?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
Thanks for having me. My answer is pretty simple. For me, I do what I do because I love people and I love watching them better understand themselves through their journey of life and understanding.
Tim Unsinn:
Great answer. I like that one! Again, topic is relaxation and stress reduction. As we talk about this, and what better time to talk about it, than post pandemic, where everybody is just wound up tighter than can be. Right. So why is body awareness important for relaxation and stress reduction?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
First of all, I think we all know stress does not discriminate and it comes in many shapes and forms. And so what I always say is that we can know for sure stress will happen. But what is absolutely most important is that we recognize it and have something to do about it. And so, what body awareness really means is, first and foremost, our bodies really do tell us absolutely everything we need to know. We just don't listen very well, or we listen to them a little too late. And so what body awareness really means is, not just only taking that time throughout your day. So starting in the morning, maybe midday right before bed, but doing kind of a body check. And what that means is just sort of taking the moment to sit down and just listen to what your body is telling you, how am I feeling?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
What's my energy level. What's the day feel like for me today? And so what that means is for an example, right? A lot of people tend to carry stress in their shoulders and in their necks. And so sometimes I'll just say at any point, just stop, take a breath, and what's going on? What are your shoulders like? Do you have any pains anywhere? Do you feel like you need to get up and just move cause you're feeling a little antsy, right? And so body awareness is really a simple thing that you can do at any point. And it's really just about stopping and listening and really focusing on what it is that my body is trying to tell me in this moment.
Tim Unsinn:
I would have to think that our production, our happiness of the day would increase immensely if we just took a little time to do that and just kind of get it out of the way, you know, not get it out of the way, but really address it earlier as opposed to later.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
Yes. And addressing it. That's just it, because the other part of that too, is we all really can get caught up in our day. I mean, it happens, right? Some days are just really more hectic, but it's even more important on those more hectic days that you take the time, even if it's a minute or 30 seconds to just stop what you're doing, stop your thoughts and focus on what is happening in your body.
Tim Unsinn:
I was thinking too, if you're identifying what is the cause, the root of that stress you may want to, if it repeats itself over and over, and I get some days are just way crazy busy, just that is it. But maybe there are things within what you do every day on a daily basis that are causing those stresses.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
Yes. And so part of it is to clear your thoughts and think about why in this moment am I feeling this way, right? What is going on? Maybe it just is what it is. And maybe it's just one of those weeks that it's not necessarily something you can do vastly different. It's just accepting that, okay, this week is a hectic week and it is what it is. I'm going to do what I can in the moment. Which most certainly there are a couple of things that you can do just in that moment to try to calm and move on with the day.
Tim Unsinn:
Yeah. Some of those management techniques, if you will. So, what are some of those that we can manage stress in the moment?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
So two things that I really love and they're honestly super simple. So the first, the fancy term, is called diaphragmatic breathing, but really what it is, is deep breathing and it's vastly different than what happens when you're feeling stressed out. Or you kind of start getting worked up a little bit.
Tim Unsinn:
Thanks for clarifying because I was thinking, okay, I do that deep breathing in that, the moment of the stress too. So, okay. Thanks for clarifying.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
Yes, it's definitely, there's a difference. And so if you think about more of the different types of breathing and so shallow breathing, which is more through your chest is actually not relaxing and actually can kind of heighten that sort of anxious or tense feeling. And so really, when we talk about deep breathing, it's far more about that gut, right? And being able to physically see your stomach rise and fall, right? And so the point of deep breathing is to get nice, full, deep breaths so that after you do this about five times...so the point kind of is, you breathe through your nose out through your mouth, and you do this five times. And sometimes, you know, if people are trying to learn how to do this, laying down can be a really good thing because you can physically see your stomach rise and fall. Otherwise if you're at the office or at home, just sitting down and putting your hands on your gut, your stomach, and just feeling it rise and fall, will help you to know that you truly are doing that deep breathing. And again, it's, you know, doing that five times in a row has shown to kind of relax that stress level a little bit, bring that tension down.
Tim Unsinn:
Yeah. My arms are not that long. If I put my hands on my stomach and breathe out, I will have to move all the appliances, everything out of the way. That's good though. I like the fact that the deep breathing, it's not a normal breathing. It really causes us to pause and breathe and just let it go ,as opposed to a couple of quick in and outs and then moving on. Well, you're not getting rid of the stress. You're not doing anything; so very good. I like that.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
So another one too then is one that I really do like, and it's visualization. And so that specifically again is really something that you can do anywhere. And it's forcing you to stop in that moment and focus on yourself. And so visualization is something that's about a personal place, or maybe it's a vacation or a place at home or a room, or maybe it's a school, but bringing yourself back to a place that gives you a sense of calm and peace. And so for example, me and my husband, one place that's really special to us is Clearwater Beach, Florida. And so if I am really stressed out or having, you know, just one of those days, I'll give myself 30 seconds or a minute to just stop, close my eyes, and put myself back on the beach, picture everything around me. There's the white sand, the oceans in front of me, the waves are rolling, there's kids and there's people, and I can smell the beautiful sun and the water and putting myself in that place for a couple minutes, really truly does give you that calming effect that in that moment can help destress.
Tim Unsinn:
I love that Lido Key is our place in Florida, where we do the same thing with the lapping water, and I've often recorded that. So I can play it back later just to put me in that moment.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
That is another form of that visualization, but it's hearing it instead of physically seeing yourself there.
Tim Unsinn:
That happy place. All right. So what are some ways to manage stress over time? We talk about, you know, deep breathing, visualization, those things that help us de-stress if you will, but how do we get out of those moments?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
Yes. So stresses can be chronic, right? And so whether it is acute or chronic, it's so important to have a self-care routine. And it's really simple. And so when I talk to people about a self-care routine or, or really taking care of themselves over times, in terms of stress, it can be many different things. It can be maybe once a month, you schedule a get-together with your girlfriends or your guy friends, right. Or maybe it's a couple times a month, you schedule a date night with your spouse or your partner. It can be as simple as, you know, taking classes a couple times a week for yoga. That's 30 minutes and you just get out of the house. Or now that the weather is starting to get more beautiful, allowing yourself to go for a walk for 20 minutes every day. The point of it is, is finding out what you truly enjoy and what not just enjoy, but is relaxing and calming and scheduling that into your life.
Tim Unsinn:
All right. And as you're managing that stress, you may want to look at those, those trigger points.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
So you bring up a very valid point, confronting the source of stress. So if we're going to talk about long-term, that is a super important piece, right. Is confronting what is that chronic or long-term stress that, no matter what I do, I really can't seem to truly help myself. And that's where I think it's important to step back. And try to look at why am I continuing to feel this way no matter what. And yeah, maybe that means a career change. Maybe that means having that really difficult conversation with a family member or even your child. Sometimes we feel really stressed out. And so we might avoid some of those conversations and those situations that we feel we maybe can't handle, but ultimately it's actually making things worse.
Tim Unsinn:
I would, another strong recommendation would be seek out great counsel, a therapist. Those are the greatest tools that you're going to find because it's somebody that's not in the situation in the moment.
Dr. Megan Spencer:
And that's important, right? If you are realizing that what you are doing isn't enough, it doesn't seem to be helping to the point maybe it did before, or really the way you think it should, absolutely reach out for support and help and support and help can be, yeah, really good friends, really good family members. It can be therapists. It can be, you know, spiritually in that sense or a support group. But yes, that is also very important.
Tim Unsinn:
Dr. Megan, Spencer is our guest on Mind Your Mind. As we wrap up this episode of Mind Your Mind, one final question, I ask all of our guests as we wrap up, and that is what do you do, personally, to mind your mind?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
Outside, the lake! So for me, with the weather getting better, I just, it's a natural perk for me to know that I get to go to the lakes and be outdoors and enjoy the sun and all that that has to offer.
Tim Unsinn:
Thank you so much for your time as always. We appreciate your insights and knowledge and wisdom. So thank you.
Tim Unsinn:
Thank you for joining us for "Mind Your Mind," a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to Mind Your Mind. For more information, links to additional resources, contact information, and much more, go to dakotafamilyservices.org.
People tend to perceive risk as being inherently negative. But for teenagers, risk-taking is a healthy, normal, and important part of growing up. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Host Tim Unsinn talks to Vanessa Lien, Nurse Practitioner, about creating a safe environment for your teenager to take risks—and knowing when to step in when they start taking risks that could result in serious and long-term negative consequences.;
Fifteen-25% of American students have experienced bullying. And cyberbullying is on the rise. Children who experience bullying suffer from long-lasting effects including depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem, low academic achievement, and more. Children engaging in bullying behavior are impacted as well. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Dakota Family Services therapist, April Morris, LMSW, talks about the impact of bullying and what parents can do to help.;
2020 was the year for living with chaos. Everything—at home, at work, and at school—is out of sync and changing from day to day. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Dakota Family Services psychologist, Dr. Megan Spencer, shares simple tips for building routine and structure into your life. She also provides an excellent, yet simple, way to ground yourself when you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious.;
Children experience grief over many things—the loss of a loved one, moving away from their friends, the death of a pet. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, talks about the stages of grief, and how to walk your child through the grieving process. He will also talk about ways to determine if your child needs to see a professional who can help them untangle the many emotions of grief.;
In today's episode of Mind Your Mind, your host Tim Unsinn talks with Christy Wilkie about suicide warning signs and things you can do to make a difference. Christy, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, wants to normalize conversations about suicide so people don't feel like they are suffering alone. She says, "There is never a reason to not ask the question, 'Hey, are you OK?' Asking the question can save a life.";
In today's episode of Mind Your Mind, your host Tim Unsinn talks with Dr. Wayne Martinsen. Dr. Martinsen, Medical Director and Psychiatrist at Dakota Family Services, defines wellness as more than just the absence of disease, but as a state of well-being. In this episode he will share current wellness research, questions to ask to determine your own well-being, and steps you can take to achieve and maintain wellness.;
When someone in our life has cancer, it's difficult to know what to say or how to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Host Tim Unsinn talks to April Morris about how you can best support a friend or loved one who has cancer. Morris, an outpatient therapist at Dakota Family Services, shares tips for knowing what/what not to say, and actions that speak louder than words.;
Sleep is just as important for mental health as it is physical health. During sleep, our brains process our memories, emotions, and other information. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," April Morris tells us why sleep is so important for overall well-being and encourages us to prioritize sleep. April, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, provides practical tips for improving sleep hygiene so you can live your best life.;
Physical activity has a huge potential to enhance our well-being. Exercise increases our mental alertness, energy, and positive mood. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Christy Wilkie, therapist at Dakota Family Services, talks about how movement, even for five minutes, can promote changes in the brain that lead to neural growth, reduced inflammation, and feelings of calm and well-being. Listen now to learn more about how moving your body can improve your mental health.;
Diagnosing children with a mental health-related condition can be controversial. Many worry this gives children a label that is set in stone and will follow them around their entire lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Dr. Wayne Martinsen talks about the role of diagnosis in getting children the help they need. Martinsen encourages us to think about mental health diagnoses the same as we do any health diagnosis. If you go the doctor and they diagnose you with strep throat, that doesn’t mean you’ll have strep throat forever, or that you are a strep throat victim. It just means that you have a collection of symptoms that point to strep throat, and the doctor will use that diagnose to provide the appropriate treatment.;
ADHD is diagnosed and treated at a much higher rate than in the past, especially in the United States. Why? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Dr. Wayne Martinsen, Psychiatrist/Medical Director at Dakota Family Services, explains how the changing world has made it harder for people with shorter attention spans to be successful. In the past, if school was hard for you, you could get a job, work your way up, and live a middle-class lifestyle. Not so in today’s world. Learn more about this fascinating take on ADHD.;
In today's episode of Mind Your Mind, your host Tim Unsinn talks with Christy Wilkie about the Feelings Wheel*. Christy, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, says humans experience 34,000 different feelings! She demonstrates how to use the Feelings Wheel to help you identify your emotions so you can control the behaviors associated with them. *Adapted by classtools.net from the Emotional Wheel. The Emotional Wheel was developed by American psychologist, Dr. Robert Plutchik.;
In today's episode of "Mind Your Mind," Vanessa Lien, Nurse Practitioner, talks about the many changes occurring in the teen brain. The teenage brain is highly susceptible to stress, but it is also very resilient. Learn coping strategies you can teach your teen to protect their brains and help them cope with stress and emotional struggles.;
Going back to school after summer vacation can be a stressful time for both kids and parents. The transition from the unstructured summer to a more regimented routine can lead to stress and anxiety. Worries about fitting in, bullying, homework, getting to school on time, and dealing with peer pressure are all additional stressors that may weigh on children when it's time to go back to school. In this episode of “Mind Your Mind,” Tim Unsinn speaks with Therapist Falan Johnson. Falan helps us understand why back to school anxiety is common, provides strategies for managing the added stress, and shares resources parents can use to prepare their children for the new school year.;
The grief of losing a friend or loved one to suicide is complicated and can be especially difficult. In addition to the grief, sadness, and loneliness of any loss, people might experience guilt, confusion, rejection, anger, and shame. The stigma of suicide complicates it even more, often preventing survivors talking about their loss or getting the help they need. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Tim Unsinn visits with Dakota Family Services' therapist, Christy Wilkie. Christy helps listeners understand the complicated nature of suicide grief and how to move through it with compassion and self-acceptance.;
You will be shocked at the seemingly safe places predators can connect with your children online. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, talks about the things you need to know to keep your children safe. Learn the many websites and platforms used to target children, how to monitor their internet usage, and how to talk to your children about the dangers.;
Pregnancy and the birth of a child can be a joyous and exciting time, but some women struggle with their mental health as they transition to motherhood. Depression, anxiety, and other pregnancy-related mental health conditions may surface during or after pregnancy. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Tim Unsinn speaks with Clinical Psychologist, Dr. Megan Spencer. Dr. Spencer helps us understand the common symptoms and causes of postpartum depression, as well as what to do if you think you may be experiencing it.;
Did you know that in addition to calming and focusing our minds, meditation can improve our physical health? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Host Tim Unsinn visits with Dr. Wayne Martinsen, Psychiatrist, Dakota Family Services, about the surprising health benefits of meditation. A regular meditation practice can increase longevity, reduce the risk of dementia, reduce inflammation, and play a significant role in the treatment of high blood pressure and immune disorders. Learn about the many forms of meditation and how you can start your own meditation practice today.;
Anxiety and depression are invisible illnesses—meaning they don't have outward symptoms visible to others. Because they are invisible, they are often hard for people to explain. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Host Tim Unsinn visits with April Morris, LCSW, Therapist, Dakota Family Services. April references the spoon theory of chronic illness created by Christine Miserandino, an award-winning writer, blogger, speaker, and lupus patient advocate. Listen now to learn more about spoons as a metaphor for energy and how you can use them to understand and explain anxiety and depression.;
While we hear a lot about autism in the news, many of us still have misconceptions about its causes and symptoms. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, therapist Falan Johnson dispels some of these misconceptions and explains the three levels of autism. Johnson then focuses on the least understood level—high functioning autism. Learn how to identify symptoms of high functioning autism in your child, the importance of early intervention, and ways you can support them.;
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, therapist April Morris talks about boundaries. April will define boundaries, explain their importance, and help you set boundaries that match your values and strengthen your relationships. Learn how healthy boundaries can improve your mental and physical health, and how you can say “no” respectfully.;
Going through infertility tests and treatments can be an extremely difficult and lonely time for couples. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Lucas Mitzel talks about his own experience. He also shares tips for couples struggling with infertility, and for friends and family members who want to be supportive but don’t know what to say or do.;
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Host Tim Unsinn talks to Therapist Falan Johnson about panic attacks. What do they feel like? What causes them? How can you prevent or manage them? Listen now to learn more and discover techniques that might work for you or your loved one.;
Are you concerned about your child's mental health but aren't sure what to do? Join Host Tim Unsinn and his guest, Therapist Jesse Lamm, as they discuss ways you can support your child through a difficult time.;
Are the stresses of college (constant worry, fitting in, lack of sleep, etc.) affecting your ability to function? Join Host Tim Unsinn and his guest, April Morris, LCSW, as they discuss ways to manage or eliminate the stressors that are impacting your well-being.;
Are you struggling to get enough sleep each night? Maybe you have difficulty falling and staying asleep. You can't get comfortable. You feel anxious and your brain just won't shut off. According to the Sleep Foundation, over one-third of adults in the U.S. sleep for less than seven hours a night. Join Host Tim Unsinn and his guest, April Morris, LCSW, in this episode of "Mind Your Mind," as they discuss how insomnia can affect many other areas of your life, as well as practical tips to improve your sleep hygiene.;
It's not unusual for children to have temper tantrums or for adolescents to be angry. But when they become out of proportion to the situation in intensity and duration, your child might be suffering from a mood disorder. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Host Tim Unsinn visits with Dr. Megan Spencer, a psychologist at Dakota Family Services. Listen now to learn how to distinguish between normal mood changes and mood disorders, and some steps you can take to help your child.;
Resilience is not a personality trait or characteristic. Resilience isn't ignoring or emotional numbing or pretending that a problem doesn't exist. And being resilient doesn’t mean we won’t face adversity. Rather, resilience is our ability to bounce back from adversity. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Dr. Megan Spencer, psychologist at Dakota Family Services, shares ten ways to build resilience so you are ready when adversity strikes.;
You can probably think of a dozen things that make you feel sad. Sadness is a normal human emotion that helps us process the events in our lives. But what is "normal" sadness? When does sadness move from "normal" to something you may need help processing? In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Falan Johnson, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, will answer these questions and more. Learn the importance of allowing yourself to feel sad so you can move past it, and, when it might be time to seek professional help.;