Building Resilience in Ten Steps
Episode Description
Resilience is not a personality trait or characteristic. Resilience isn't ignoring or emotional numbing or pretending that a problem doesn't exist. And being resilient doesn’t mean we won’t face adversity. Rather, resilience is our ability to bounce back from adversity. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Dr. Megan Spencer, psychologist at Dakota Family Services, shares ten ways to build resilience so you are ready when adversity strikes.What to Expect
- The psychologist's definition of resilience.
- Fostering wellness to build resilience.
Resources: Learn More
- "The Resilience Workbook for Kids," by Caren Baruch-Feldman, Ph.D.
- "Resilient: Restoring Your Weary Soul in These Turbulent Times," by John Eldredge.
- "Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness," by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.
Things to Think About
- What are you doing to foster wellness in your body and mind?
- Do you try to ignore negative feelings, or acknowledge and accept them?
- What is one thing you can do today to build your resilience?
About the Hosts
Dr. Megan Spencer is a clinical psychologist at Dakota Family Services. She is passionate about working with individuals and their families and highly values the therapeutic relationship. Dr. Spencer enjoys helping people better understand themselves and their psychological functioning. She looks forward to working with anyone who is looking to better understand and/or improve themselves or their children and families. Her practice includes diagnostic and psychological evaluations and individual cognitive behavioral therapy.
Transcript
Building Resilience in Ten Steps
Featuring Dr. Megan Spencer, Psychologist, Dakota Family Services
Host Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic located in Minot, Bismarck, and Fargo, North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode as we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness, learn practical tips for managing our mental health and wellbeing, and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to Mind Your Mind.
TU:
Welcome to this episode of Mind Your Mind. Our guest is Dr. Megan Spencer. Dr. Spencer is a clinical psychologist and provides diagnostic and psychological evaluations, and CBT. Dr. Spencer, great to have you on Mind Your Mind. Our topic is building resilience in 10 steps. However, before we get to the topic, let's talk about why you do what you do. Why is this work important to you?
Dr. Megan Spencer:
It's pretty simple for me. I love helping people. I love being a part of their journey and watching them grow and develop into truly the person they wanna be.
TU:
That's awesome. Well, today's topic: building resilience in 10 steps. And it seems like, okay, 10 steps is manageable. You know, if you'd have said 20, I'd have been alarmed, but we'll go with the 10 steps. That works out. So first, what is resilience?
MS:
So we definitely hear a lot of people talk about resilience, but really psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting in the face of adversity, tragedy, trauma, significant stressors. So really resilience is our ability to kind of bounce back. And then really through that process of bouncing back, we can have some personal growth.
TU:
Now on the opposite side of that, because you talked about things that we're able to bounce back from, and sometimes, you know, you hear those things and it seems like, oh, that should be pretty easy to bounce back from, but not everyone handles that stress in the same way. So what is not resilience?
MS:
So resilience is not a personality trait or characteristic. Resilience certainly does not mean an individual isn't gonna face adversity. It does not mean someone won't face stressors because to be honest, no matter who we are, we're gonna face 'em. But resilience is really our ability to bounce back, like I said. And what it isn't is, it most certainly isn't something that only some people possess and others do not. Resilience isn't also you know, ignoring or emotional numbing or pretending that a problem doesn't exist. Right. It's kind of about facing it. But then our ability to overcome.
TU:
All right. So with resilience and not resilience, what are some steps for building that resilience? Now there are 10 of them, so go slow. I'm taking notes!
MS:
Fair enough. I'll try to be as thorough but brief. Right. Okay. So 10 steps. First and foremost, we talk about this all the time, build connections, right? Prioritize relationships with the people in your life that are helpful and bring joy. Not that everything is rainbows and butterflies when it comes to relationships, but this is more about prioritizing and building those special relationships with people that we have in our lives that we, we truly cherish and know that support us and validate our feelings. And so how you prioritize that it, you know, it can look differently. Maybe that's date nights with your partner or spouse. Maybe that is, you know, prioritizing a family game night. Maybe that's prioritizing once a month, get together with your friends. Those things are important. And so cherish those relationships and prioritize. And that's that's number one.
MS:
Number two, we talk about wellness, right? So foster wellness, what does that mean? Focus on your body, focus on giving your body what it needs to manage stress. And so really that's, you know, there's a legitimate reason why people talk about nutrition and exercise and meditation. It's really, in order to build resilience, we have to take care of our bodies through other ways too. And that comes from exercise, sleep; sleep is just as important. And so, yes, that's another piece how you can do that. Mindful journaling, meditation, yoga, or pray, right? That can be another way to foster wellness.
MS:
And so third find purpose. Find purpose and/or help others, because helping others really does give us a sense of fulfillment and it can give us really a sense of pride in ourselves. And so helping others is really a good way to foster self worth. But the other part of that is find purpose. So yeah, find purpose in helping others, but find purpose for yourself. Something that you truly find fulfillment in.
MS:
A fourth one can be, be proactive, right? What that basically means is acknowledge and accept. Whether that is your situation. Whether that is your current feelings, that's okay. Acknowledge 'em, accept 'em. And certainly be proactive in working to find a way to improve not only those feelings, but the situation that you might be in, which also then helps build resilience.
New Speaker:
Another one move towards your goals, right? We always hear people talk about goals, especially with it being towards the new year. But really not only is it important to move towards your goals and be thoughtful about what those goals are and choices that we make along that path. So that's important. Embrace healthy thoughts.
TU:
All right. I wanna say you're listening to Mind Your Mind. Our guest is Dr. Megan Spencer, and we are talking about building resilience in 10 steps, and I believe we're either five or six into those 10 steps, right?
MS:
You got it. So yes. Embrace healthy thoughts. That was number six. What that means is thinking traps, don't get stuck in those. Thinking traps are those black and white thinking, catastrophic thinking, right? Thinking about the worst possible outcomes. So really focus on your thoughts and what's happening.
MS:
Accept, change, right. We all know how important it is to accept change. And with that, focusing on the aspects of change that you can have some control over, letting go of some things that we have no control over.
MS:
Number eight, maintain a hopeful outlook. So again, that positive; again, it's not pretending everything is rainbows and butterflies, but truly finding the hope, finding meaning. Look past that initial stressor.
MS:
Two left! Number nine: learn from your past, right? We don't wanna focus on our past, but we certainly can take a look back and learn from things that we really did well and things that we maybe didn't do so well.
MS:
And last seek help. Always. If you're finding that you've taken some of these steps, you really feel like you're still struggling with that particular stressor or a chain of stressors that kind of keep coming back, get help. Whether that be a friend, a parent, a mental health professional, your primary care, a religious person, really truly reaching out is seeking help.
TU:
Right. Don't be so prideful. Ask for help. That's I think that of all the 10, I think that was for me, the biggest one is to ask for help. Don't don't think you can conquer it on your own You know, sometimes we bounce back pretty quickly on our own, but maybe it was something really traumatic in our life, so ask for help.
MS:
Absolutely.
TU:
Well, thank you so much for listening to Mind Your Mind. Our guest has been Dr. Megan Spencer, and before we wrap up, we always have that one last question. And what do you do, Dr. Spencer, personally, to mind your mind?
MS:
So for me, it's my family, honestly. It's watching my two little girls grow up and figure out the wonders of the world and be excited about things that I forgot to be excited about. So really right now, it's my family and watching my girls grow.
TU:
All right. Number 11 could be look at the world through our kids' eyes.
MS:
Oh, I love it. Absolutely.
TU:
Yes. Well, thank you so much. We appreciate you. Appreciate your time and your talents.
MS:
Thank you.
TU:
Thank you for joining us for Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to mind your mind. For more information, links to additional resources, contact information, and much more, go to dakotafamilyservices.org.
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Although the term ‘bipolar’ is sometimes used as slang to describe someone who is moody or indecisive, true bipolar disorder is a complex and sometimes severe mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn discusses bipolar disorder with nurse practitioner Amanda Daggett, touching on what the disorder is, what its symptoms look like, and how it can be treated.;
Social Media: Managing Emotions & Setting Boundaries
How much time do you spend each day looking at your phone? An hour or two? Multiple hours? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with therapist Christy Wilkie to discuss how social media use can impact our mental health, relationships, and behavior. Learn tips for monitoring your child’s internet use, as well as how to manage your own time spent on social media.;
Understanding OCD
While OCD is sometimes perceived as simply a desire to keep things neat and organized, it can actually have much more severe symptoms for those who experience it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with psychologist Dr. Megan Spencer to talk about who Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affects, what its signs and symptoms are, and how to seek help if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with OCD.;
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits can be easy to start but sometimes very difficult to stop. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Falan Johnson talk about breaking bad habits, including where habits come from, how to know if a habit is bad, and steps you can take to stop it.;
Finding a Therapist
Are you looking for some help on your mental health journey? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Jessie Mertz talk about how to find a therapist, including what you should know when searching and what questions to ask when you meet a therapist for the first time. They also touch on what the letters after a therapist’s name mean, and how they apply to the type of services or treatment you might be looking for.;
Coping with Rejection
Whether it’s from asking someone on a date or applying for a job, we all experience rejection at some point in our lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how to cope with rejection, including the common coping stages, the importance of acceptance, and how rejection can impact people differently.;
Borderline Personality Disorder
Like other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is a commonly misunderstood and stigmatized mental illness. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about what BPD is, how it affects someone’s behavior, and where to seek treatment if your child has been diagnosed with BPD.;
Psychological Assessments: What to Expect
Do you think you might be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder? If so, a psychological assessment might be able to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski and host Tim Unsinn talk about what to expect from a psychological assessment, including what an assessment might include, what information you might receive from the psychologist, and what you should communicate with your psychologist before and after receiving an assessment.;
Supplements in Psychiatry
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and Amanda Daggett explore the topic of using supplements for mental health. In addition to talking about some of the most commonly used supplements like melatonin and St. John’s Wort, they also discuss the benefits, the risks, and the research surrounding various supplements.;
Seasonal Affective Disorder (Community Chat Series)
Feeling like you’ve got the winter blues? If you’re noticing symptoms of depression with the change of seasons, it may be a sign that you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. In this special Community Chat episode of Mind Your Mind, therapists Christy Wilkie and Lucas Mitzel discuss the common symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, how it can affect other mental health disorders, and some useful tips, tricks, and resources for managing symptoms of SAD.;
Trying New Things With Confidence
Join Christy and Lucas, therapists at Dakota Family Services, as they share practical tips for building confidence when trying new things. From managing self-doubt to building resilience, this episode will empower you to approach new experiences with a positive mindset.;
Relationships are Hard
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore why relationships can be so hard. Join them as they discuss the characteristics of both healthy and toxic relationships, talk about the difference between normal conflict and abuse, and help you discover your love languages so you and your partner can best express your love to each other.;
Is Everybody Anxious?
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore anxiety. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder, what you can do to decrease your anxiety, and how to best help loved ones struggling with anxiety.;
Is Everyone Feeling Sad
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore depression. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, what you can do to help yourself feel better, and what you can do to help your loved ones. They will talk about coping strategies, therapy interventions, and ways to help you identify when your child might need extra help.;
Change is Hard
Change is inevitable. Join Christy and Lucas as they explore big and small changes and how they impact you. Learn why change can be so hard, even good change, and discover ways to manage it effectively.;
We Need to Talk About Suicide
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Christy and Lucas discuss the very important topic of suicide. Listen to learn about risk factors, warning signs, and what you can do to help a loved one who is struggling. Remember, you are not alone. If you need immediate assistance, call 911. If you need to talk to someone, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.;
Do We Need to Get Outside?
Join Lucas and Christy as they explore the power of spending time outdoors on mental and emotional well-being. Discover practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert insights on the benefits of getting outside and reconnecting with nature.;
Exploring ADHD
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy discuss ADHD, shedding light on its prevalence and impact on daily life. Learn practical strategies for managing symptoms and understand why your friend or loved one with ADHD does the things they do.;
Internet Safety and Mental Health
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", join our hosts Christy and Lucas as they delve into the complex relationship between the internet and mental health. With the digital age bringing information and social connections to our fingertips, it also presents unique challenges and opportunities for our safety and psychological well-being.;
Boosting Self-Esteem: From Marathons to Daily Triumphs
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", Christy and Lucas discuss how common it is for people to see themselves differently from others. Using their own personal triumphs and challenges as examples, they outline the things that shape our self-esteem. Additionally, they share simple daily practices to help listeners recognize and celebrate their own personal victories. This episode is filled with tips and engaging stories aimed at encouraging listeners to undertake challenges that foster self-growth and personal confidence.;
Therapy Unveiled: What to Know Before You Go
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Lucas and Christy talk about what it's like to begin therapy. Feeling apprehensive about starting therapy is normal, but surmountable. Together, Lucas and Christy unravel common myths about therapy and emphasize the role of therapy in disrupting negative life patterns and routines that are no longer serving you.;
Coping with the Back-to-School Blues
In the latest episode of “Is It Just Me?” Christy and Lucas tackle the transition from leisurely summer days to structured school schedules with warmth and wisdom. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance and strategies to help navigate the shift with confidence. Learn how to handle changes in routine, the importance of communication, and strategies to help the entire family adjust to and embrace the new normal. Listening to this episode can be your first step toward making back-to-school a season of growth and positive change for all.;
The Art of Overcoming Trauma
In this month’s episode of the "Is It Just Me?" podcast, Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie, Dakota Family Services, dive into the complexities of trauma and its therapy. The episode sheds light on Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and the importance of creating a trauma narrative as a cornerstone of healing. The thoughtful discussions aim to educate listeners on the intricacies of trauma, the innovative methods used in therapy, and the role of caregivers in the recovery process. Through expert insights and compassionate storytelling, Lucas and Christy provide practical advice and real-world examples for individuals who have experienced trauma.;
Navigating Life Through Mindfulness
In this episode of “Is It Just Me?”, Lucas and Christy delve into the world of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. From body scans to mindfulness exercises, they provide a soothing experience to help you unwind and distress. Discover practical tips and advice on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine and learn how to prioritize mental well-being in today's fast-paced world.;
Mindfulness: Body Scan
In this special additional episode of “Is It Just Me” join therapist Lucas Mitzel as he gives listeners a transformative journey within their own body and mind. In this episode, Lucas guides listeners through a soothing body scan to promote calm, mindfulness, and inner peace. This episode offers a unique mixdown of gentle narration, and relaxation techniques, leaving you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and more connected to yourself.;
Game Plan for Mental Health
In this new episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie examine the intersection of sports and mental health, offering insightful conversations and expert advice to help young athletes, parents, and coaches navigate the emotional and psychological aspects of athletic performance. From discussing the impact of pressure and anxiety in sports to exploring the connection between mental well-being and athletic success, Christy and Lucas provide valuable perspectives and practical strategies for managing the mental game of sports.;
Beyond the Labels: Dismantling Myths About Mental Health
In this podcast episode of “Is It Just Me?” Lucas and Christy discuss the stigma and myths surrounding mental health. Through personal stories and insightful discussions, they aim to challenge misconceptions, break down barriers, and promote greater understanding and empathy towards people who have mental health challenges.;
Confronting Narcissism
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy explore the complex topic of narcissism. They'll delve deep into the traits and behaviors of narcissistic individuals, as well as the difficulty of having a relationship with them and the impact they have on society. Through expert advice, relatable stories, and therapeutic insights, listeners will gain a better understanding of narcissism and learn tools to navigate interactions with narcissists more effectively.;
Can the World be Scary?
In this episode of "Is it Just Me?" join host Christy and Lucas as they talk about fear! Everyone experiences fear at some point in their lives. Sometimes this fear can become problematic, limiting your ability to live a full life. Christy and Lucas cover some of the science behind fear, define "phobia," talk about how they treat dysfunctional fear in therapy, and provide tips for what you can do at home to help yourself or your child with their fear.;
Is Parenting Hard?
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?," Christy and Lucas delve into the complex and challenging world of parenting, talking through different parenting types, styles, and approaches. Offering insights and discussions that aim to reduce the stigma around mental health, they provide invaluable guidance for parents, caregivers, and anyone involved in the journey of raising children. From the difficulties of disruption and life routines to the necessity of a united parental front, no topic is left unexplored in this candid and informative episode.;