Exploring the Feelings Wheel
Episode Description
In today's episode of Mind Your Mind, your host Tim Unsinn talks with Christy Wilkie about the Feelings Wheel*. Christy, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, says humans experience 34,000 different feelings! She demonstrates how to use the Feelings Wheel to help you identify your emotions so you can control the behaviors associated with them. *Adapted by classtools.net from the Emotional Wheel. The Emotional Wheel was developed by American psychologist, Dr. Robert Plutchik.What to Expect
- Learn how the Feelings Wheel works.
- Understand how to use the Feelings Wheel to identify your primary emotions.
- Learn how to help your child identify and deal with difficult emotions.
Resources: Learn More
- Interactive Wheel of Emotions
- Interactive Feelings Wheel by Conscious Cues
- The Boy with Big, Big Feelings by Britney Winn Lee
- The Color Monster by Anna Llenas
Things to Think About
- Are your emotions holding you back from living your best life?
- Does your child need help identifying and managing their feelings?
- Can you put your feelings into words?
About the Hosts
Christy Wilkie provides outpatient therapy for children and adolescents, ages 5-25. Christy typically uses a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach, but also provides collaborative problem solving and several other types of therapy. She earned her master’s degree in Social Work from Indiana University-Purdue University. Christy provides telehealth and in-person services in our Fargo location. Call 1-800-201-6495 to make an appointment.
Transcript
Exploring the Feelings Wheel
Featuring Christy Wilkie, LCSW, Dakota Family Services
Tim Unsinn: Welcome to Mind your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic located in Minot, Bismarck, and Fargo, North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode as we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness, learn practical tips for managing our mental health and wellbeing, and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to Mind your Mind.
Tim Unsinn: Welcome to this episode of Mind Your Mind. Our guest is Christy Wilkie. Christy is a therapist in Fargo and provides outpatient therapy for children and adolescents age five to 25. Christy, it is great to have you on Mind your Mind.
Christy Wilkie: Not as great as it is to be here.
Tim Unsinn: We're going to get into today's topic, which is the feelings wheel. And I don't think that means the feeling I get when I'm behind the wheel, but we'll get into that in just a second. First question up for you. Why do you do what you do?
Christy Wilkie: You know, I couldn't imagine doing anything else. I really believe in the strength of the human spirit. And I think that everybody deserves to try to live their best life. I've been passionate about mental health from a very young age. My dad was a therapist, so I kind of grew up with that being a part of my language. Helping children has always been a passion of mine since as long as I can remember. So as I grew up and I developed that passion into really focusing in on mental health and understanding the stigma that's around it, and really having people be validated that the way that they feel is okay, but they can also feel better. And to try to help people find their healing and really their potential in life and realizing that they don't have to be miserable, that they can, they can have some control over their lives and live it to the fullest.
Tim Unsinn: Today's topic is feelings wheel. First of all, I'd like you to kind of tell us what the feelings wheel is. And then how do we use that in therapy?
Christy Wilkie: The Feelings Wheel is a wheel and it works from the inside out. So it starts with like the main emotions that we feel like happy, sad, mad, surprised, disgusted. And it works out to kind of further delineate what the actual feeling is. Because sometimes those big words that we learned from one we're like nine years old is really what they tell us when we're talking about emotions is that most people talk about their emotions like a nine year old does. And human beings, as a random fact, feel about 34,000 different emotions. And so for people to put words on that is really difficult. And so the feelings wheel breaks it down into the big emotions and then it delineates it farther from there. And then even farther from there to kind of expand your emotional intelligence and really kind of identify what you're feeling.
Tim Unsinn: All right. And with that many feelings, 34,000, how do we then use the feeling wheel as part of therapy?
Christy Wilkie: Sure. So a lot of people have big emotions and when we have big emotions that is often causes us to participate in behaviors that we don't want to participate in. And really what emotions are, is a loss of control. Emotions elicit a loss of control and human beings, just by default, want to find control because not having control is not comfortable. And so what a lot of people default to is anger because anger gives you the illusion of being in control when it's absolutely the opposite. Anger is an easy emotion to show, but it's very rarely the one that is behind that. So when you use the feelings wheel in therapy, you can kind of start with that angry emotion and then break it down into feeling, let down humiliated, mad, aggressive, frustrated, sad. And so then we kind of work out from there to be like, well, if you're frustrated, what is it that's triggering that frustration.
Christy Wilkie: And so it helps them get back to the origin of the actual emotion that they're feeling. Which is really good for people because it, it helps name the thing that is causing them to feel dysregulated. That's causing them to do things that hurt other people. That's causing them to do things that hurt themselves. And so instead of finding negative ways to find control, either through violence or yelling or name calling, they can find control in a positive way to, to name the thing that they're feeling, to expand their emotional intelligence, and put a word on what it is that's actually going on inside of them.
Tim Unsinn: So with 34,000 emotions, how easy, or how hard is it to even using the feelings wheel to narrow it down into an area of feelings, because with 34,000 it's gotta be just a, a wide variance of what that looks like
Christy Wilkie: You know, it's, it's, it's easier than you would think it would be. I mean, the feelings wheel, it doesn't have 34,000 emotions on it. We can't name every emotion that everybody feels, but it does. I mean, it probably has about 150 somewhere around there. And they just put words to things that people don't have words for—embarrassment, shame, guilt, those are all emotions that people don't like to feel. And your brain kind of kicks in and goes, it's a fight or flight thing. When you start feeling those icky emotions that you don't want to feel, your body starts to feel kind of icky, or that there's a threat somewhere in the environment and your brain goes into fight or flight, which is either you run away from it, or you kind of find these ways to have control over it, that aren't necessarily healthy.
Christy Wilkie: And so once people find out that there are other words they can use other than anger, and that it's okay to have those emotions, it really becomes easier than it sounds really. There's a lot of stigma attached to emotions specifically with men, but also with women that there are, there are things that we should, and shouldn't feel. I had a kid this morning, actually, that I was talking to. And he just said, I'm a boy. And I, and I feel all these emotions and I'm not supposed to be that way. And just to validate that, yeah, everybody has these emotions. Everybody feels these all, every given time. And to try to push them away, to try to make you feel better ends up hurting you in the long run, let's just figure out what it is. Like. Let's throw some words out there and see if he can relate to any of the words that I'm using. And then, and then tell them that it's okay to feel them and accept them in instead of keeping fighting them away. It, it gives people a lot of whenever you can name anything that's going on inside of you, there's some relief.
Tim Unsinn: It's probably a lot of pressure on the clients that you see, you know, talking about emotions we're not able to label. But this is a very helpful tool to label it, to name it and to say it, that's gotta be just relieving.
Christy Wilkie: Absolutely relieving. And for a lot of younger kids, those, those words don't necessarily make sense. And that's on me as a therapist to try to find ways to show them what that looks like. Whether it's through a picture or whether it's through faces, we'll do a lot of face drawings of what people look like when they feel different emotions. Because little kids have a harder time with big words, like even annoyed, embarrassed. Like that's not where they're at. And so for them to see that there's a range of emotions, they can feel rather than just mad, sad, happy is a relief. And it kind of opens up a lot of doors for lots of people.
Tim Unsinn: How much harder is it for kids that come to you that, uh, you know, we look at the feelings wheel that don't hear a lot of, or see a lot of those emotions within the house. There's not a lot of expression words verbally or physically. How is, how does that work into it.
Christy Wilkie: It actually helps a lot of families because we don't do a lot of work with just kids. When we are doing work with kids, we're doing work with families and that's super important. And it's a core value of Dakota Family Services, of Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch is that we're treating the kid, but we're also helping the family. And the family also needs to help put words on those feeling wheels too. And when you can just take it and give it to the parents and say, this is a tool you can use if they're having a bad day. Sit down with them and let's, let's figure this out. And then also role model with your child, what you're feeling and use it and help you expand your own emotional vocabulary. Because kids who are in therapy end up having more words to describe what they're feeling than people that have never done it. That's their parents included. So bringing the parents along on the journey with us to have it just be more of how they talk and in their house is super important.
Tim Unsinn: That must be enlightening for them as well.
Christy Wilkie: It is. I have a lot of parents that will come in and they'll explain to me what, you know, what their child is doing. And I'll explain how feelings work and why we feel what we feel and that it's okay to feel what we feel. And you kind of sometimes see the light bulb go off in parent's brains. They're like it, maybe that's what I do to. Maybe you do. And that's okay.
Tim Unsinn: You are listening to Mind your Mind. Our guest is Christie Wilkie, and we're talking about the feelings wheel, a lot of great information, love podcasts. It's an opportunity to pause, rewind, listen, again, it's a great opportunity to share as well. And in our final question, Christie, before we let you go, for everyone that I get a chance to talk with, the question is, what do you do to personally mind your mind?
Christy Wilkie: In doing the work that I do. I know that I have to be in a space in my own, in my own body and in my own brain to be able to help the people that come into my office. So I prioritize my own mental health all of the time, because I'm no good to anybody if I'm not well, myself. And everybody deserves the best version of me when they walk into the office. So I'm very good about I run. I run every morning, somewhere between three and seven miles every day. Uh, I golf, I walk, I spend a lot of time with my family and friends. I take time to meditate. I make sure that I get eight hours of sleep every night. Just as a fun fact, sleep over all age ranges from infants to senior citizens, it has always been imperative to everybody's mental health and how we function. So making sure that you're getting sleep and eating a balanced diet, I do all those. And I laugh a lot really. I'm really funny. I think I'm funny. I try to use my sense of humor and, and surround myself with people that elicit those positive emotions in me too.
Tim Unsinn: You are funny, and you're fun to be around. Christy, thank you so much for your time on Mind your mind. We appreciate you sharing your time and your talent with us.
New Speaker: Thank you so much.
New Speaker: Thank you for joining us for Mind your mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to mind your mind. For more information, links to additional resources, contact information, and much more go to Dakotafamily services.org.
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Fear is powerful. It can cause us to avoid problems, people, and even opportunities in our life. But it can also be overcome. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn speaks with Falan Johnson, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about the function of fear and how to face it. Learn where fear comes from, how to identify it, and how to calm down and build confidence when you’re feeling afraid.;
The Three R's: Regulate, Relate & Reason
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, our host Tim Unsinn talks with Dakota Family Services therapist Jessie Mertz about the “3 R’s”—Regulate, Relate, and Reason. They discuss what each term means, how they build upon each other, and how this approach can help you calm others who are experiencing distress.;
What is Schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia is a chronic, complex mental health disorder that affects around 1% of people in the United States. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychiatrist Dr. Wayne Martinsen discuss the symptoms and implications of schizophrenia, touching on its many effects on individual and family life. Learn about how schizophrenia is treated, how it affects physical health, when it tends to develop, and how it is perceived between cultures.;
How to Have a Conversation About Mental Health
Although the stigma surrounding mental health is gradually disappearing, it can still be tricky knowing how to talk about it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychologist Megan Spencer explore how to have a conversation with someone about their mental health, including signs that you should talk to them, how to start the conversation, and some possible reactions to expect from the other person.;
The Benefits of Being Outside
Are you feeling cooped up indoors? Join host Tim Unsinn and therapist Lucas Mitzel in this episode of Mind Your Mind as they discuss the importance of getting outside on your mental health. Learn about the benefits of green and blue spaces, activities you can do while outside, and how being outside can help improve symptoms of different mental health diagnoses.;
Dealing With Burnout
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Tim Unsinn talks with psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski about the signs of burnout, how to prevent it, and how to know if your burnout is related to general life stressors or a mental health disorder. They also talk about the difference between fatigue and burnout, as well as how to support yourself and alleviate burnout when you’re experiencing it.;
Living with Chronic Illness
Many of us know someone who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, or have been diagnosed with one ourselves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how chronic illness can impact daily living and mental health, as well as how to seek support if you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness.;
Bipolar Disorder: Understanding the Highs and Lows
Although the term ‘bipolar’ is sometimes used as slang to describe someone who is moody or indecisive, true bipolar disorder is a complex and sometimes severe mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn discusses bipolar disorder with nurse practitioner Amanda Daggett, touching on what the disorder is, what its symptoms look like, and how it can be treated.;
Social Media: Managing Emotions & Setting Boundaries
How much time do you spend each day looking at your phone? An hour or two? Multiple hours? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with therapist Christy Wilkie to discuss how social media use can impact our mental health, relationships, and behavior. Learn tips for monitoring your child’s internet use, as well as how to manage your own time spent on social media.;
Understanding OCD
While OCD is sometimes perceived as simply a desire to keep things neat and organized, it can actually have much more severe symptoms for those who experience it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with psychologist Dr. Megan Spencer to talk about who Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affects, what its signs and symptoms are, and how to seek help if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with OCD.;
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits can be easy to start but sometimes very difficult to stop. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Falan Johnson talk about breaking bad habits, including where habits come from, how to know if a habit is bad, and steps you can take to stop it.;
Finding a Therapist
Are you looking for some help on your mental health journey? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Jessie Mertz talk about how to find a therapist, including what you should know when searching and what questions to ask when you meet a therapist for the first time. They also touch on what the letters after a therapist’s name mean, and how they apply to the type of services or treatment you might be looking for.;
Coping with Rejection
Whether it’s from asking someone on a date or applying for a job, we all experience rejection at some point in our lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how to cope with rejection, including the common coping stages, the importance of acceptance, and how rejection can impact people differently.;
Borderline Personality Disorder
Like other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is a commonly misunderstood and stigmatized mental illness. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about what BPD is, how it affects someone’s behavior, and where to seek treatment if your child has been diagnosed with BPD.;
Psychological Assessments: What to Expect
Do you think you might be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder? If so, a psychological assessment might be able to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski and host Tim Unsinn talk about what to expect from a psychological assessment, including what an assessment might include, what information you might receive from the psychologist, and what you should communicate with your psychologist before and after receiving an assessment.;
Supplements in Psychiatry
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and Amanda Daggett explore the topic of using supplements for mental health. In addition to talking about some of the most commonly used supplements like melatonin and St. John’s Wort, they also discuss the benefits, the risks, and the research surrounding various supplements.;
Seasonal Affective Disorder (Community Chat Series)
Feeling like you’ve got the winter blues? If you’re noticing symptoms of depression with the change of seasons, it may be a sign that you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. In this special Community Chat episode of Mind Your Mind, therapists Christy Wilkie and Lucas Mitzel discuss the common symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, how it can affect other mental health disorders, and some useful tips, tricks, and resources for managing symptoms of SAD.;
Trying New Things With Confidence
Join Christy and Lucas, therapists at Dakota Family Services, as they share practical tips for building confidence when trying new things. From managing self-doubt to building resilience, this episode will empower you to approach new experiences with a positive mindset.;
Relationships are Hard
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore why relationships can be so hard. Join them as they discuss the characteristics of both healthy and toxic relationships, talk about the difference between normal conflict and abuse, and help you discover your love languages so you and your partner can best express your love to each other.;
Is Everybody Anxious?
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore anxiety. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder, what you can do to decrease your anxiety, and how to best help loved ones struggling with anxiety.;
Is Everyone Feeling Sad
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore depression. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, what you can do to help yourself feel better, and what you can do to help your loved ones. They will talk about coping strategies, therapy interventions, and ways to help you identify when your child might need extra help.;
Change is Hard
Change is inevitable. Join Christy and Lucas as they explore big and small changes and how they impact you. Learn why change can be so hard, even good change, and discover ways to manage it effectively.;
We Need to Talk About Suicide
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Christy and Lucas discuss the very important topic of suicide. Listen to learn about risk factors, warning signs, and what you can do to help a loved one who is struggling. Remember, you are not alone. If you need immediate assistance, call 911. If you need to talk to someone, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.;
Do We Need to Get Outside?
Join Lucas and Christy as they explore the power of spending time outdoors on mental and emotional well-being. Discover practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert insights on the benefits of getting outside and reconnecting with nature.;
Exploring ADHD
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy discuss ADHD, shedding light on its prevalence and impact on daily life. Learn practical strategies for managing symptoms and understand why your friend or loved one with ADHD does the things they do.;
Internet Safety and Mental Health
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", join our hosts Christy and Lucas as they delve into the complex relationship between the internet and mental health. With the digital age bringing information and social connections to our fingertips, it also presents unique challenges and opportunities for our safety and psychological well-being.;
Boosting Self-Esteem: From Marathons to Daily Triumphs
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", Christy and Lucas discuss how common it is for people to see themselves differently from others. Using their own personal triumphs and challenges as examples, they outline the things that shape our self-esteem. Additionally, they share simple daily practices to help listeners recognize and celebrate their own personal victories. This episode is filled with tips and engaging stories aimed at encouraging listeners to undertake challenges that foster self-growth and personal confidence.;
Therapy Unveiled: What to Know Before You Go
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Lucas and Christy talk about what it's like to begin therapy. Feeling apprehensive about starting therapy is normal, but surmountable. Together, Lucas and Christy unravel common myths about therapy and emphasize the role of therapy in disrupting negative life patterns and routines that are no longer serving you.;
Coping with the Back-to-School Blues
In the latest episode of “Is It Just Me?” Christy and Lucas tackle the transition from leisurely summer days to structured school schedules with warmth and wisdom. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance and strategies to help navigate the shift with confidence. Learn how to handle changes in routine, the importance of communication, and strategies to help the entire family adjust to and embrace the new normal. Listening to this episode can be your first step toward making back-to-school a season of growth and positive change for all.;
The Art of Overcoming Trauma
In this month’s episode of the "Is It Just Me?" podcast, Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie, Dakota Family Services, dive into the complexities of trauma and its therapy. The episode sheds light on Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and the importance of creating a trauma narrative as a cornerstone of healing. The thoughtful discussions aim to educate listeners on the intricacies of trauma, the innovative methods used in therapy, and the role of caregivers in the recovery process. Through expert insights and compassionate storytelling, Lucas and Christy provide practical advice and real-world examples for individuals who have experienced trauma.;
Navigating Life Through Mindfulness
In this episode of “Is It Just Me?”, Lucas and Christy delve into the world of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. From body scans to mindfulness exercises, they provide a soothing experience to help you unwind and distress. Discover practical tips and advice on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine and learn how to prioritize mental well-being in today's fast-paced world.;
Mindfulness: Body Scan
In this special additional episode of “Is It Just Me” join therapist Lucas Mitzel as he gives listeners a transformative journey within their own body and mind. In this episode, Lucas guides listeners through a soothing body scan to promote calm, mindfulness, and inner peace. This episode offers a unique mixdown of gentle narration, and relaxation techniques, leaving you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and more connected to yourself.;