Risk-taking and Teens: A Delicate Balance
Episode Description
People tend to perceive risk as being inherently negative. But for teenagers, risk-taking is a healthy, normal, and important part of growing up. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Host Tim Unsinn talks to Vanessa Lien, Nurse Practitioner, about creating a safe environment for your teenager to take risks—and knowing when to step in when they start taking risks that could result in serious and long-term negative consequences.What to Expect
- Learn about risk—both positive and negative.
- Understand why teens take risks.
- Learn how to reduce risk-taking by building connections and involving children in decision-making.
- Explore ways to model healthy risk-taking.
Things to Think About
- How will you support your teen?
- How can you create a safe environment for healthy risk-taking?
- How can you stay involved in your teenager's life?
Transcript
Risk-taking and Teens: A Delicate Balance
Featuring Vanessa Lien, Nurse Practitioner
Host Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic located in Minot, Bismarck, and Fargo North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode as we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness, learn practical tips for managing our mental health and well-being, and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to Mind Your Mind. Welcome to this episode of mind your mind.
Our guest is Vanessa Lien. Vanessa is a nurse practitioner and provides outpatient diagnosis and treatment of psychiatric and behavioral health conditions, as well as medication management of clients to all of all ages, Vanessa. It's great to have you on Mind Your Mind.
Vanessa Lien:
Thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here.
Host Tim Unsinn:
Our topic is going to be healthy risks, but you know the routine. Before we get to the topic of the day, we ask you, "Why do you do what you do?"
Vanessa Lien:
Well, one of the main reasons that I do what I do...as a nurse practitioner, I really have that opportunity to improve mental health of patients and also at the same time, improve that quality of life. So I can weigh and treat the impact of having a mental illness on my patients, and also help them just to function better in society. And one of the highlights to me is the tremendous amount of research that's happening in neuroscience. And we're only just beginning to understand the complicated system of our brains and how it affects our behaviors. So psychiatry to me is just very intellectually stimulating and challenging, and I knew I would never get bored in this field.
Host Tim Unsinn:
Great answer. Love that. Why you do what you do, healthy risk. Okay. So when we first started talking about healthy risk, I mentioned to you that it sounds like an oxymoron healthy risk, but what is risk taking and is it normal?
Vanessa Lien:
Yeah, it does seem kind of like an oxymoron. Risk, by definition, is just a choice. It's choices that we make with an uncertain potential outcome. And that can be a desirable or undesirable outcome. So in comparison, it'd be winning money in a bet, or losing money. So desirable and undesirable. And in general, people tend to perceive risks as being inherently negative things. And this really isn't true. So risk behaviors, they fall along a spectrum. On one end of this spectrum are the negative risks, which are generally perceived as being, you know, antisocial, maybe dangerous or harmful. And on the very other opposite end are positive types of risks, which are socially acceptable risks that maybe have the potential to benefit a person's well-being. And they have less severe or dangerous potential consequences. In general, risk-taking behavior is a normal part of development and it can help people build confidence and really strengthen their decision-making skills. And for our adolescents and teenagers, risk-taking is really about teenagers finding out who they are and exploring boundaries that exist.
Vanessa Lien:
So risk taking is really important to know that it's not about a teenager being rebellious and it's actually an essential part of identity development for teenagers. So contrary to popular belief, risk-taking behavior can be healthy, and help people thrive. Now on that note, children really are more likely to take risks than adults because the different parts of the brain are maturing at different times, which is kind of what we talked about in our last session. Now, the part of the brain that's in charge of self-regulation and really thinking through consequences matures later than the part of the brain that is impulsive and reactive. So it's kind of natural for a teenager to engage in a behavior and that results in maybe a parent or an adult saying, "What on earth were you thinking?"
Vanessa Lien:
So part of raising a child is helping the child define those boundaries. And it's a balancing act that really requires knowing when to let a child take risks in a safe environment versus taking risks in a situation where they could endanger themselves or even other people. And again, this being a normal part of development and knowing that risk-taking behavior increases from childhood into adolescence and then it starts to decrease in adults as those brains mature. So don't let that fool you though. Adults have patterns of risk-taking too. So think, for example, what they are and make sure that you're always modeling good behavior when you're around your children. For instance, I tell parents, "Drive in the car as if you want your child to drive, and if you make a mistake, make sure you talk about it." If you ran that stop sign or didn't stop completely, bring it up right away and say, "Hey, I really did not stop for the appropriate amount of time. That's pretty dangerous and someone could get hurt." Bring it up and have one of those crucial conversations.
Host Tim Unsinn:
I'm glad I didn't model driving for my daughter because she's a great driver, very cautious, unlike her dad. So we talk about healthy risk-taking. How can we support healthy risk-taking?
Vanessa Lien:
Healthy risk taking can really build confidence and help teach some of those natural consequences. So unfortunately, without guidance, teenagers can really take some risks that result in some serious and long-term consequences. So, you know, one thing we think of a lot when talking about teenagers and risks is texting and driving. So doing that texting and driving can really have some potential, even life ending, it could be fatal if there was to be an accident. So there's several ways that we can support healthy risk taking in children and adolescents. And the first thing is by providing healthy options and alternatives. So providing teenagers with options for risk-taking provides the thrill that they're being, that they're seeking when they're doing and taking risks, with minimal negative consequences. And again, another thing that I encourage is modeling and labeling positive behaviors. So always keep in mind that your behavior influences your child.
Vanessa Lien:
So again, discuss with your child, the positive behaviors that you choose and why you chose them. So if you take a risk that you don't want your child to take, acknowledge it. So again, "I drove in an aggressive manner. It was risky. I put us in harm's way and I apologize for doing that." Make that apology and talk with them about what happened and why you would make that choice differently next time. So another thing in research we see is like teenagers who tend to drink a little bit more often, use alcohol, typically a lot more than not come from households where their parents maybe drank a lot. So again, teenagers model their parents. So even though we may think that your teenagers ignoring you, which a lot of times it seems like, they really are watching. So that's important to know another step would be to talk with your child about risk taking and healthy decision-making.
Vanessa Lien:
So have those ongoing conversations about risks, healthy and unhealthy, and the potential consequences and make sure the conversation is always in a dialogue and not a lecture. I mean, we know teenagers just don't respond well to lectures. So engage in a conversation and hear their point of view too. So in day to day life, if you guys are watching a movie together, maybe turn the question back to them. Like, "What did you think about the decision that that main character just made." Have the conversation, you know. When your teen is out with their friends and maybe they start doing something that you're not comfortable with, maybe alcohol, drugs, anything like that, how are you going to handle that? Or if something has happened and you're struggling with a decision that your teen has made, just verbalize, "I'm really struggling to understand that decision you just made."
Vanessa Lien:
Help me get a better sense of what went on in your mind and what went into the decision and this will help guide some of those crucial conversations to have with the kids. And another important factor is to really develop deep social support system for kids. This really supports healthy risk taking and research suggests that the wider range of social support available to a teenager. So having parents that are supportive, family, friends makes it less likely that a teen will engage in unhealthy risk-taking behaviors. So involve your child in like different community events and support healthy relationships between your child and the social supports around you. So these may be things, again, like friends, relatives, church communities different afterschool activities or sports leagues, you know. As kids, we turn to our coaches as mentors and really look up to them. So those are just some ideas.
Vanessa Lien:
Another tip would be to make sure you're promoting family connectedness to reduce risk-taking. So when children really feel connected to their families, the likelihood of making poor choices and taking those unhealthy risks, really diminishes. So I encourage parents to involve children in decision-making. Involve them in setting the rules and expectations, and maybe at night time share about their day or how your days were over a meal. And so some of the dialogue that might come around that, just to give an example. "So What are some ideas about what we should do today? You know, it's a Saturday, we have the whole day off, what are some ideas that you have about what we could do?" Or maybe another thing in, in the teen years as maybe establishing a curfew? So "I have some thoughts about possible curfew times, but I want to hear you out and listen to your thoughts before making that final decision." It kind of gets the teens to have a little buy-in.
Vanessa Lien:
Those are some interesting ways to kind of engage the kids. Another important fact is also monitor your child and stay involved with them. So parental monitoring and involvement, it really has a positive influence on risk-taking behavior in kids. So know where your child is, first of all, and check and see if they are where they say they're going to be. And that doesn't have to be, you know, something like following them in a car and making sure they go but just a quick text. "Hey, Just checking in to see how things are going?" Or even a quick text to the parents. "Hi, I'm just checking to see how little Billy is doing over at your house." So stay involved in your kids' lives, know their friends and know their friends' parents as well. It really helps if you work hard and develop a trust in your relationship and look for opportunities to show that you're trusting your child.
Host Tim Unsinn:
You are listening to Mind your Mind. Our guest on this episode is Vanessa Lien and Vanessa has been talking healthy risk, a lot of great information. Final question for you before we let you go. What do you do personally, to mind your mind?
Vanessa Lien:
I personally mind my mind by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is something that allows me to be fully present and aware of what I'm doing, where I am, and just kind of where I'm at in the day. And I also like to practice meditation, and that is something that allows me to kind of venture into the workings of my mind, the sensations, my emotions, thoughts, and just really keep me grounded.
Host Tim Unsinn:
Vanessa, it has been great having you on Mind Your Mind, a lot of great information, a lot of information that I think as parents, maybe our kids are grown and gone, but this is information we listen to, that we can share with others. So thank you so much for your time. Thank you so much for your talent.
Vanessa Lien:
Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
Host Tim Unsinn:
Thank you for joining us for Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to mind your mind. For more information links to additional resources, contact information, and much more go to DakotaFamilyServices.org.
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In this episode of Mind Your Mind, our host Tim Unsinn talks with Dakota Family Services therapist Jessie Mertz about the “3 R’s”—Regulate, Relate, and Reason. They discuss what each term means, how they build upon each other, and how this approach can help you calm others who are experiencing distress.;
What is Schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia is a chronic, complex mental health disorder that affects around 1% of people in the United States. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychiatrist Dr. Wayne Martinsen discuss the symptoms and implications of schizophrenia, touching on its many effects on individual and family life. Learn about how schizophrenia is treated, how it affects physical health, when it tends to develop, and how it is perceived between cultures.;
How to Have a Conversation About Mental Health
Although the stigma surrounding mental health is gradually disappearing, it can still be tricky knowing how to talk about it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychologist Megan Spencer explore how to have a conversation with someone about their mental health, including signs that you should talk to them, how to start the conversation, and some possible reactions to expect from the other person.;
The Benefits of Being Outside
Are you feeling cooped up indoors? Join host Tim Unsinn and therapist Lucas Mitzel in this episode of Mind Your Mind as they discuss the importance of getting outside on your mental health. Learn about the benefits of green and blue spaces, activities you can do while outside, and how being outside can help improve symptoms of different mental health diagnoses.;
Dealing With Burnout
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Tim Unsinn talks with psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski about the signs of burnout, how to prevent it, and how to know if your burnout is related to general life stressors or a mental health disorder. They also talk about the difference between fatigue and burnout, as well as how to support yourself and alleviate burnout when you’re experiencing it.;
Living with Chronic Illness
Many of us know someone who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, or have been diagnosed with one ourselves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how chronic illness can impact daily living and mental health, as well as how to seek support if you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness.;
Bipolar Disorder: Understanding the Highs and Lows
Although the term ‘bipolar’ is sometimes used as slang to describe someone who is moody or indecisive, true bipolar disorder is a complex and sometimes severe mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn discusses bipolar disorder with nurse practitioner Amanda Daggett, touching on what the disorder is, what its symptoms look like, and how it can be treated.;
Social Media: Managing Emotions & Setting Boundaries
How much time do you spend each day looking at your phone? An hour or two? Multiple hours? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with therapist Christy Wilkie to discuss how social media use can impact our mental health, relationships, and behavior. Learn tips for monitoring your child’s internet use, as well as how to manage your own time spent on social media.;
Understanding OCD
While OCD is sometimes perceived as simply a desire to keep things neat and organized, it can actually have much more severe symptoms for those who experience it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with psychologist Dr. Megan Spencer to talk about who Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affects, what its signs and symptoms are, and how to seek help if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with OCD.;
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits can be easy to start but sometimes very difficult to stop. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Falan Johnson talk about breaking bad habits, including where habits come from, how to know if a habit is bad, and steps you can take to stop it.;
Finding a Therapist
Are you looking for some help on your mental health journey? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Jessie Mertz talk about how to find a therapist, including what you should know when searching and what questions to ask when you meet a therapist for the first time. They also touch on what the letters after a therapist’s name mean, and how they apply to the type of services or treatment you might be looking for.;
Coping with Rejection
Whether it’s from asking someone on a date or applying for a job, we all experience rejection at some point in our lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how to cope with rejection, including the common coping stages, the importance of acceptance, and how rejection can impact people differently.;
Borderline Personality Disorder
Like other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is a commonly misunderstood and stigmatized mental illness. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about what BPD is, how it affects someone’s behavior, and where to seek treatment if your child has been diagnosed with BPD.;
Psychological Assessments: What to Expect
Do you think you might be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder? If so, a psychological assessment might be able to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski and host Tim Unsinn talk about what to expect from a psychological assessment, including what an assessment might include, what information you might receive from the psychologist, and what you should communicate with your psychologist before and after receiving an assessment.;
Supplements in Psychiatry
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and Amanda Daggett explore the topic of using supplements for mental health. In addition to talking about some of the most commonly used supplements like melatonin and St. John’s Wort, they also discuss the benefits, the risks, and the research surrounding various supplements.;
Seasonal Affective Disorder (Community Chat Series)
Feeling like you’ve got the winter blues? If you’re noticing symptoms of depression with the change of seasons, it may be a sign that you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. In this special Community Chat episode of Mind Your Mind, therapists Christy Wilkie and Lucas Mitzel discuss the common symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, how it can affect other mental health disorders, and some useful tips, tricks, and resources for managing symptoms of SAD.;
Trying New Things With Confidence
Join Christy and Lucas, therapists at Dakota Family Services, as they share practical tips for building confidence when trying new things. From managing self-doubt to building resilience, this episode will empower you to approach new experiences with a positive mindset.;
Relationships are Hard
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore why relationships can be so hard. Join them as they discuss the characteristics of both healthy and toxic relationships, talk about the difference between normal conflict and abuse, and help you discover your love languages so you and your partner can best express your love to each other.;
Is Everybody Anxious?
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore anxiety. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder, what you can do to decrease your anxiety, and how to best help loved ones struggling with anxiety.;
Is Everyone Feeling Sad
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore depression. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, what you can do to help yourself feel better, and what you can do to help your loved ones. They will talk about coping strategies, therapy interventions, and ways to help you identify when your child might need extra help.;
Change is Hard
Change is inevitable. Join Christy and Lucas as they explore big and small changes and how they impact you. Learn why change can be so hard, even good change, and discover ways to manage it effectively.;
We Need to Talk About Suicide
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Christy and Lucas discuss the very important topic of suicide. Listen to learn about risk factors, warning signs, and what you can do to help a loved one who is struggling. Remember, you are not alone. If you need immediate assistance, call 911. If you need to talk to someone, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.;
Do We Need to Get Outside?
Join Lucas and Christy as they explore the power of spending time outdoors on mental and emotional well-being. Discover practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert insights on the benefits of getting outside and reconnecting with nature.;
Exploring ADHD
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy discuss ADHD, shedding light on its prevalence and impact on daily life. Learn practical strategies for managing symptoms and understand why your friend or loved one with ADHD does the things they do.;
Internet Safety and Mental Health
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", join our hosts Christy and Lucas as they delve into the complex relationship between the internet and mental health. With the digital age bringing information and social connections to our fingertips, it also presents unique challenges and opportunities for our safety and psychological well-being.;
Boosting Self-Esteem: From Marathons to Daily Triumphs
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", Christy and Lucas discuss how common it is for people to see themselves differently from others. Using their own personal triumphs and challenges as examples, they outline the things that shape our self-esteem. Additionally, they share simple daily practices to help listeners recognize and celebrate their own personal victories. This episode is filled with tips and engaging stories aimed at encouraging listeners to undertake challenges that foster self-growth and personal confidence.;
Therapy Unveiled: What to Know Before You Go
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Lucas and Christy talk about what it's like to begin therapy. Feeling apprehensive about starting therapy is normal, but surmountable. Together, Lucas and Christy unravel common myths about therapy and emphasize the role of therapy in disrupting negative life patterns and routines that are no longer serving you.;
Coping with the Back-to-School Blues
In the latest episode of “Is It Just Me?” Christy and Lucas tackle the transition from leisurely summer days to structured school schedules with warmth and wisdom. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance and strategies to help navigate the shift with confidence. Learn how to handle changes in routine, the importance of communication, and strategies to help the entire family adjust to and embrace the new normal. Listening to this episode can be your first step toward making back-to-school a season of growth and positive change for all.;
The Art of Overcoming Trauma
In this month’s episode of the "Is It Just Me?" podcast, Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie, Dakota Family Services, dive into the complexities of trauma and its therapy. The episode sheds light on Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and the importance of creating a trauma narrative as a cornerstone of healing. The thoughtful discussions aim to educate listeners on the intricacies of trauma, the innovative methods used in therapy, and the role of caregivers in the recovery process. Through expert insights and compassionate storytelling, Lucas and Christy provide practical advice and real-world examples for individuals who have experienced trauma.;
Navigating Life Through Mindfulness
In this episode of “Is It Just Me?”, Lucas and Christy delve into the world of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. From body scans to mindfulness exercises, they provide a soothing experience to help you unwind and distress. Discover practical tips and advice on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine and learn how to prioritize mental well-being in today's fast-paced world.;
Mindfulness: Body Scan
In this special additional episode of “Is It Just Me” join therapist Lucas Mitzel as he gives listeners a transformative journey within their own body and mind. In this episode, Lucas guides listeners through a soothing body scan to promote calm, mindfulness, and inner peace. This episode offers a unique mixdown of gentle narration, and relaxation techniques, leaving you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and more connected to yourself.;