Spoon Theory: A Metaphor for Anxiety and Depression
Episode Description
Anxiety and depression are invisible illnesses—meaning they don't have outward symptoms visible to others. Because they are invisible, they are often hard for people to explain. In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Host Tim Unsinn visits with April Morris, LCSW, Therapist, Dakota Family Services. April references the spoon theory of chronic illness created by Christine Miserandino, an award-winning writer, blogger, speaker, and lupus patient advocate. Listen now to learn more about spoons as a metaphor for energy and how you can use them to understand and explain anxiety and depression.What to Expect
- Learn about Spoon Theory
- Discover new ways to think about energy
- Understand the strain of depression and anxiety
- Learn how to get help
Resources: Learn More
- "But You Don't Look Sick," Christina Miserandino
- Depression Explained, Psychology Today
- Depression and Anxiety: Can I Have Both?, Mayo Clinic
Things to Think About
- How could you support the people in your life who suffer from anxiety and depression?
- How many spoons do you need to get through a typical day?
- What can you do to replenish your spoons (energy) if you run out before the end of the day?
- Can you give yourself permission to take are of yourself when you are running on limited energy?
About the Hosts
April Morris, LCSW, provides outpatient therapy for adolescents and adults age 16 and over. She uses a multi-faceted trauma-informed therapy approach including a variety of therapy techniques. She enjoys working with clients from all walks of life, and is honored to join them on their mental health journey and help them build skills to adapt to life challenges.
Transcript
Spoon Theory: A Metaphor for Anxiety and Depression
Featuring April Morris, LCSW, Dakota Family Services
Host Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic located in Minot, Bismarck, and Fargo, North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode as we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness, learn practical tips for managing our mental health and wellbeing and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to Mind Your Mind.
TU:
Welcome to this episode of Mind Your Mind. Our guest is April Morris. April is an outpatient therapist in Fargo and provides therapy for those over 16, primarily adults. April, it's great to have you on Mind Your Mind. Our topic is Spoons Theory for anxiety and depression. However, before we get to today's topic, there's that question I ask all of our guests and that is why do you do what you do?
April Morris:
I just really love helping people on their journey, with figuring out how to manage life stressors. And it's just a humbling experience that I'm grateful to be a part of.
TU:
I think you're figuring it out every day because, whenever I see you, you're smiling. So that's a good thing. And you work with a lot of people in a lot of different situations and to keep a smile on your face, tells me, you do appreciate what you do in helping others. So thank you for that. Again, our topic is Spoon Theory for anxiety and depression. What is the Spoon Theory?
AM:
Sure. So it was originally created for more of chronic health illnesses. For example, the person that initially started explaining her challenges in this way, her name is Christine, Christine (I'm going to butcher her last name) Miserandino. She's a lupus advocate. And so you can look her up and find different things that she's written on blogs. Some of her stuff is kind of titled, "But you don't look sick." So it kind of brings a lot of the invisible physical illnesses, as well as mental health, into light because people can't always see them. The idea, right, is that each spoon represents the energy that it takes to complete tasks. So it's common for somebody with depression, then, to have low energy and to really need more time to complete a task. So that might require more spoons, for example.
TU:
Yeah. And I read some of her information. I looked her up ahead of our time together, and just interesting how she puts spoons with the conversation with a friend at lunch. And I'm just like, how clever was that? And now here's an opportunity for you to share that information as well. So as we talk about spoons theory and spoons literally are involved. So how are spoons spent or lost?
AM:
So if you can imagine actually handing somebody, when they wake up in the morning, 10 spoons, right? So whatever equivalent of spoons they wake up in the morning does depend on maybe their condition and the status of their condition. One morning, you might wake up with 10 spoons; another morning you might wake up with, let's say five spoons. The reason why that changes day to day is, there's this theory of if you borrowed from the day before. So you know when people say, "I overdid it yesterday. And then I had to spend the whole next day in bed," you borrowed spoons. So you wake up the next morning with less spoons and you have to be really mindful with limited energy where you're going to put it. Are you going to put it into cleaning that day, running errands, you know, playing with children, getting out of bed, you know, it really can vary day to day, how you decide to spend your spoons.
TU:
So "spending the spoons." What is the thinking behind the spending of the spoons?
AM:
So if I only have five spoons for the day, I'll just give myself five, and I'm feeling a little down and depressed, and I've been trying to manage that for a while. It might take me a spoon to get out of bed and shower. Now one is gone and I have four left for the rest of the day. Then I have a big meeting at work that kind of drains me. I lost another spoon. End of the day picking up kids from daycare, making dinner. That's kind of a big rush—that might've cost me a couple of spoons. Now I have no spoons left and I'm pretty exhausted. My capacity to handle a lot energy-wise, mental health or physically, could be little to none
TU:
As you spend those spoons, we shouldn't feel, I'm just guessing, we shouldn't feel guilty in that situation. We should look at that. If we've spent five of our spoons for the day, just realizing that we had a tough day and maybe we should cut ourselves a little slack.
AM:
Yes, absolutely. I actually think this theory, and a lot of people comment about how it can really be helpful to, one, plan ahead and be realistic with expectations of yourself, depending on what you're trying to manage for an illness. And it's very self forgiving. It can help you not compare and judge yourself to other people because everybody's spoon quantity, like I said, is different every morning, based on your starting energy, and each person's tolerance is different. So it really promotes not comparing yourself.
TU:
So we've lost some spoons. How do we get them back?
AM:
That's right. Well, Christine says the original theory was you couldn't get them back. But mental health that have applied this Spoon Theory say you can gain them back with time, rest, basically self care, right? So, if you borrowed spoons, that might mean you take a nap, and it's okay. And accepting that a nap is going to be part of that Saturday because you had a busy family weekend. Maybe you sleep in one day. Maybe, you know, it's focusing on your nutrition and staying hydrated and taking medications as directed; whatever it may be that we can stay as healthy as possible and give our body the best opportunity physically and mentally, to have the most spoons that we can have each and every day.
TU:
I appreciate the fact that we're not to judge ourselves based on someone else, and then be willing to forgive yourself. That's, I mean, two big things I got out of what you were just talking about.
AM:
Yes. I think a lot of people get disappointed. If you're in the thick, the worst part of your depression, maybe you woke up with 10 spoons and it took all 10 spoons to shower. So in therapy, we would really talk about like, "Wow, you got up and you showered. That's great. That took everything you had. I'm proud of you." And knowing that that's okay sometimes, and that that's going to be the hand that you're dealt and not again, comparing yourself, or I didn't get all these other things done.
TU:
Now, how about the support system for those that are doing spoons, as far as if you know, someone that is going through therapy using the spoons, what are some, maybe a few tips just for us to encourage them? Is that something that's recommended?
AM:
Yeah, I think in general, I feel like the Spoon Theory is kind of just, it's a concept, right? Of getting us to really conceptualize our energy and how it's a limited resource and how do we make the best of it and being graceful to ourselves. And if you're supporting someone, I feel like just telling them that that self care might include therapy and make sure that they have good self care. See if you can give them ideas of how to, to do what fits for them. And if it's you yourself again, if you're not really sure how this works or how to rebuild your energy or how to conceptualize this, therapy, individual therapy, support groups, whether it's for your individual illness or overall mental health. There's so many groups, depending on what type of group you're looking for. Always encourage reaching out.
TU:
Excellent, excellent. Spoon Theory for anxiety and depression. A lot of amazing nuggets in everything that you shared with us. Any other thoughts before we wrap up?
AM:
Nope.
TU:
All right. We almost saw your head going back and forth as you were saying, "No." It's always great to have you with us before we go, that last question as we wrap up, what do you do personally, to mind your mind?
AM:
I just love being outside to me. That's the most relaxing thing that I can do to replenish. So if I can get a few minutes outside in the sun, by myself, take a walk, I love being at the lake. If it's not warm, I will take a bath and pretend I'm somewhere warm. And you know, you do what you have to do and use your mind to be mindful and take you there.
TU:
Well when you're in that warm spot in a tub, watch out for the sharks. April, thank you for spending time with us. We appreciate you. Thank you for being on Mind Your Mind.
TU:
Thank you for joining us for Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to mind your mind. For more information, links to additional resources, contact information, and much more go to dakotafamilyservices.org.
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Living with Chronic Illness
Many of us know someone who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, or have been diagnosed with one ourselves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how chronic illness can impact daily living and mental health, as well as how to seek support if you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness.;
Bipolar Disorder: Understanding the Highs and Lows
Although the term ‘bipolar’ is sometimes used as slang to describe someone who is moody or indecisive, true bipolar disorder is a complex and sometimes severe mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn discusses bipolar disorder with nurse practitioner Amanda Daggett, touching on what the disorder is, what its symptoms look like, and how it can be treated.;
Social Media: Managing Emotions & Setting Boundaries
How much time do you spend each day looking at your phone? An hour or two? Multiple hours? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with therapist Christy Wilkie to discuss how social media use can impact our mental health, relationships, and behavior. Learn tips for monitoring your child’s internet use, as well as how to manage your own time spent on social media.;
Understanding OCD
While OCD is sometimes perceived as simply a desire to keep things neat and organized, it can actually have much more severe symptoms for those who experience it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with psychologist Dr. Megan Spencer to talk about who Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affects, what its signs and symptoms are, and how to seek help if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with OCD.;
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits can be easy to start but sometimes very difficult to stop. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Falan Johnson talk about breaking bad habits, including where habits come from, how to know if a habit is bad, and steps you can take to stop it.;
Finding a Therapist
Are you looking for some help on your mental health journey? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Jessie Mertz talk about how to find a therapist, including what you should know when searching and what questions to ask when you meet a therapist for the first time. They also touch on what the letters after a therapist’s name mean, and how they apply to the type of services or treatment you might be looking for.;
Coping with Rejection
Whether it’s from asking someone on a date or applying for a job, we all experience rejection at some point in our lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how to cope with rejection, including the common coping stages, the importance of acceptance, and how rejection can impact people differently.;
Borderline Personality Disorder
Like other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is a commonly misunderstood and stigmatized mental illness. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about what BPD is, how it affects someone’s behavior, and where to seek treatment if your child has been diagnosed with BPD.;
Psychological Assessments: What to Expect
Do you think you might be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder? If so, a psychological assessment might be able to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski and host Tim Unsinn talk about what to expect from a psychological assessment, including what an assessment might include, what information you might receive from the psychologist, and what you should communicate with your psychologist before and after receiving an assessment.;
Supplements in Psychiatry
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and Amanda Daggett explore the topic of using supplements for mental health. In addition to talking about some of the most commonly used supplements like melatonin and St. John’s Wort, they also discuss the benefits, the risks, and the research surrounding various supplements.;
Seasonal Affective Disorder (Community Chat Series)
Feeling like you’ve got the winter blues? If you’re noticing symptoms of depression with the change of seasons, it may be a sign that you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. In this special Community Chat episode of Mind Your Mind, therapists Christy Wilkie and Lucas Mitzel discuss the common symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, how it can affect other mental health disorders, and some useful tips, tricks, and resources for managing symptoms of SAD.;
Trying New Things With Confidence
Join Christy and Lucas, therapists at Dakota Family Services, as they share practical tips for building confidence when trying new things. From managing self-doubt to building resilience, this episode will empower you to approach new experiences with a positive mindset.;
Relationships are Hard
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore why relationships can be so hard. Join them as they discuss the characteristics of both healthy and toxic relationships, talk about the difference between normal conflict and abuse, and help you discover your love languages so you and your partner can best express your love to each other.;
Is Everybody Anxious?
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore anxiety. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder, what you can do to decrease your anxiety, and how to best help loved ones struggling with anxiety.;
Is Everyone Feeling Sad
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore depression. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, what you can do to help yourself feel better, and what you can do to help your loved ones. They will talk about coping strategies, therapy interventions, and ways to help you identify when your child might need extra help.;
Change is Hard
Change is inevitable. Join Christy and Lucas as they explore big and small changes and how they impact you. Learn why change can be so hard, even good change, and discover ways to manage it effectively.;
We Need to Talk About Suicide
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Christy and Lucas discuss the very important topic of suicide. Listen to learn about risk factors, warning signs, and what you can do to help a loved one who is struggling. Remember, you are not alone. If you need immediate assistance, call 911. If you need to talk to someone, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.;
Do We Need to Get Outside?
Join Lucas and Christy as they explore the power of spending time outdoors on mental and emotional well-being. Discover practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert insights on the benefits of getting outside and reconnecting with nature.;
Exploring ADHD
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy discuss ADHD, shedding light on its prevalence and impact on daily life. Learn practical strategies for managing symptoms and understand why your friend or loved one with ADHD does the things they do.;
Internet Safety and Mental Health
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", join our hosts Christy and Lucas as they delve into the complex relationship between the internet and mental health. With the digital age bringing information and social connections to our fingertips, it also presents unique challenges and opportunities for our safety and psychological well-being.;
Boosting Self-Esteem: From Marathons to Daily Triumphs
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", Christy and Lucas discuss how common it is for people to see themselves differently from others. Using their own personal triumphs and challenges as examples, they outline the things that shape our self-esteem. Additionally, they share simple daily practices to help listeners recognize and celebrate their own personal victories. This episode is filled with tips and engaging stories aimed at encouraging listeners to undertake challenges that foster self-growth and personal confidence.;
Therapy Unveiled: What to Know Before You Go
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Lucas and Christy talk about what it's like to begin therapy. Feeling apprehensive about starting therapy is normal, but surmountable. Together, Lucas and Christy unravel common myths about therapy and emphasize the role of therapy in disrupting negative life patterns and routines that are no longer serving you.;
Coping with the Back-to-School Blues
In the latest episode of “Is It Just Me?” Christy and Lucas tackle the transition from leisurely summer days to structured school schedules with warmth and wisdom. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance and strategies to help navigate the shift with confidence. Learn how to handle changes in routine, the importance of communication, and strategies to help the entire family adjust to and embrace the new normal. Listening to this episode can be your first step toward making back-to-school a season of growth and positive change for all.;
The Art of Overcoming Trauma
In this month’s episode of the "Is It Just Me?" podcast, Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie, Dakota Family Services, dive into the complexities of trauma and its therapy. The episode sheds light on Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and the importance of creating a trauma narrative as a cornerstone of healing. The thoughtful discussions aim to educate listeners on the intricacies of trauma, the innovative methods used in therapy, and the role of caregivers in the recovery process. Through expert insights and compassionate storytelling, Lucas and Christy provide practical advice and real-world examples for individuals who have experienced trauma.;
Navigating Life Through Mindfulness
In this episode of “Is It Just Me?”, Lucas and Christy delve into the world of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. From body scans to mindfulness exercises, they provide a soothing experience to help you unwind and distress. Discover practical tips and advice on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine and learn how to prioritize mental well-being in today's fast-paced world.;
Mindfulness: Body Scan
In this special additional episode of “Is It Just Me” join therapist Lucas Mitzel as he gives listeners a transformative journey within their own body and mind. In this episode, Lucas guides listeners through a soothing body scan to promote calm, mindfulness, and inner peace. This episode offers a unique mixdown of gentle narration, and relaxation techniques, leaving you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and more connected to yourself.;