Why Do I Feel Sad?
Episode Description
You can probably think of a dozen things that make you feel sad. Sadness is a normal human emotion that helps us process the events in our lives. But what is "normal" sadness? When does sadness move from "normal" to something you may need help processing? In this episode of "Mind Your Mind," Falan Johnson, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, will answer these questions and more. Learn the importance of allowing yourself to feel sad so you can move past it, and, when it might be time to seek professional help.What to Expect
- Learn the difference between physical loss and abstract loss
- Discover ways to navigate sadness
- Identify when it might be time to see a therapist
Resources: Learn More
- "A Little SPOT of Sadness: A Story About Empathy and Compassion" by Diane Alber
- TED Talk: We Don't "Move On" from Grief. We Move Forward With it, by Nora McInerny
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, Dial 988.
Things to Think About
- Do you try to avoid feeling sad?
- Has the stress of the last few years impacted your mood?
- How can you help your loved ones navigate sadness?
About the Hosts
Falan Johnson provides therapy for children, adolescents, and young adults ages 7 - 25. She believes it is her job to meet clients where they’re at and provide services specific to their needs. Falan is honored to be a positive change agent in the lives of people who come into her office. She believes in a holistic approach, not only considering the person as an individual but as part of a greater working system. Falan earned her master’s degree in Social Work from the University of North Dakota. She is certified in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
Transcript
Why Do I Feel Sad?
Featuring Falan Johnson, LCSW, Dakota Family Services
Host Tim Unsinn:
Welcome to Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services, an outpatient behavioral health clinic, located in Minot, Bismarck, and Fargo, North Dakota. In this podcast, I will talk with our experts about understanding and nurturing our mental health and wellness. I'm your host, Tim Unsinn. Join me each episode as we explore the intricacies of our minds, decrease the stigma of mental illness, learn practical tips for managing our mental health and wellbeing, and recognize when it's time to ask for help. Join me now to mind your mind.
TU:
Welcome to this episode of Mind Your Mind. Our guest is Falan Johnson. Falan is an outpatient behavioral health therapist on the Fargo campus and provides outpatient therapy for children, adolescents, and young adults. Falan, it's great to have you on Mind Your Mind. Our topic is "Why do I feel sad?" However, before we get to the topic, let's talk about why you do what you do. Why is this work important to you?
Falan Johnson:
All right. Thanks, Tim for having me on. Why do I do what I do? I think, you know, if I'm gonna try to sum it up quick, I think it's connection, probably. Yeah, just getting to connect with other humans on a personal level and, you know, be able to relate with what they're going through, and then being able to provide any kind of skills or clarity in any way and just kind of being along with them on their journey, really.
TU:
Journey rider, I like that. That's awesome. So now the topic is why do I feel sad? And I really think this is a broad topic, but we're gonna try to help you as you listen, maybe get closer to if you're sad or maybe depressed or what those feelings are. So how do I know when the sadness I'm feeling has gone from a normal human emotion to something of a clinical concern?
FJ:
Yeah, I think that's the goal. Like you said, it is, it's really vague. Yeah. Why do I feel sad? So it's a layered answer. I don't think it's one black and white answer, so I just wanna throw that out there. So if this resonates, great. If not, there are certainly other avenues to explore. I think for me, what I wanna highlight today is, you know, it is a normal human emotion; quote, unquote, normal. It's something typical. It's something we all feel at some point. And I think sometimes we like to think of it as like a negative or like a bad emotion. It's not typically one we're like running into and excited to feel, but it is part of the human existence, and it is there for a reason and it is there to help us process emotions and see things. And so I think it's important to be okay with feeling some sadness, but then that creates the line of like, what is normal sadness then? And then where is this something that's more clinically significant that I should be concerned about?
TU:
Yeah, I'm thinking there are just a lot of different factors that make us feel sad. And as you're listening right now, you can probably think of a dozen things that make you feel sad. But it's that point of feeling sad, the emotion that we have and how long does that last and how long is that normal and how soon does that change to something else that we're going to need some help with?
FJ:
Right. And I think that's different for everybody. But what I think would be helpful for everybody to consider is that there are a variety of different factors that play into our emotions. So there's biology, there are our thoughts and our experiences that we've had in our life thus far, and then there's environmental and social factors. So I think that's probably the place to start is looking at those three things, right? So, maybe you notice the feeling of sadness and that's where we have to start. And so looking at what's going on in your life. Well, let's say maybe, heaven forbid, your dog just died, right? Maybe you just lost a loved one. Maybe you're going through a transitional period. You know, I work with a lot of young adults. I think that first year of college, you know, it's this very hyped up time for people, but I think there is a lot of sadness that young adults actually feel during that time that is really normal because you're kind of closing this chapter of your childhood becoming an adult, right? And as much as there is to look forward to, there can still be this sadness with closing a chapter. So I think anytime you're maybe going through a transition, it might be a normal time to feel some sadness. If you're grieving, and this might not even necessarily be a physical loss. I think that's what a lot of us think of, but sometimes it might be more of an abstract loss, maybe it's the loss of an identity. So when I think of older adults, maybe moving through retirement, there can be a lot of sadness with moving on and not finding purpose in the same ways you did, there can be sadness associated with that.
TU:
Well, change. Just think of the last couple of years and all the change that's happened since early 2020 to today.
FJ:
Absolutely.
TU:
Change is just a huge piece of that. And I guess, you know, going through these things, so what should I do to help ease my feelings of sadness? What are those things that can help us get from sad to back to happy versus sad, back to little more in depth? And I know we don't have a ton of time to talk about this, but what are some of those ideas that you have that can help us maybe navigate what sadness to happy sadness to, you know, needing help?
FJ:
Well, you know, this is probably not gonna be a popular answer, but I do think, you know, if we are going through something where we feel, you know, this is probably an okay time to feel sad; this makes sense. I really encourage you to not try to stuff that emotion, not try to get away from it. Of course we want to get back to a place where we feel content or happy or joy. But we don't wanna rush there too fast, because we're feeling the sadness for a reason. There's something that we need to process here. So finding ways to allow ourself to feel that in a tolerable way, maybe this is, doing some things on your own. Maybe this is spending some time meditating or going out and exercising.
FJ:
Maybe this is listening to some music that you really connect with. Maybe if you're creative, it's doing some artwork or writing. But ultimately, allowing yourself to feel that. And then ideally after you've had that, you know, if it's a quote unquote normal or typical feeling of sadness, you should be able to move through that. It should start to lift. You should start to feel yourself, maybe kind of moving back to at least moments of your baseline. Now, if this is a really close loss, you're gonna go in and out of those phases. You know, if this is somebody who lost a spouse, it's gonna come and go and that's normal. I think where the big concern for it being more of a clinical process is if this really isn't getting any better, despite attempts. You know, maybe you are trying to find ways to feel this emotion or move through it and it's just not moving. You're stuck. If there's not really something going on in your life where this feeling feels like it makes sense. Maybe it's kind of like, you know, I just got this promotion; my kid just got on the honor roll; we had this great family vacation and I just still feel sad. That's maybe an indicator that you are dealing with some biological factors maybe. And that's when we might be looking at clinical depression. And when we are looking at that, know that everything can be right, you know, quote unquote, on the outside, and you can still feel sad. And that's because there are imbalances with your serotonin levels, your dopamine levels, and that's all a biological factor. So that could be your cue to ask for help. Maybe go consult with a mental health professional, maybe even starting with your primary care provider sometimes.
FJ:
Sometimes there might be a need to try medications, but I think maybe talking it out and trying to get through, you know, is this more of a biological depression that I do need to seek more intense treatment for versus, okay, you know, maybe I just didn't realize how much I was going through. There is a lot of change going on and I didn't realize it. And now that I did some processing, I'm feeling a lot better about it. So I think everybody's gonna need something different, but don't be afraid to ask questions and start by maybe just checking it out with a mental health professional.
TU:
Right. And I was gonna say that I think more and more today, we are feeling, you know, not the happy thoughts about seeking help, maybe five or 10 years ago. We've really come to a better place, in my opinion, today, where we are willing to seek help. There's not a negative to it, but a positive. And the fact that you seek help from a professional, you may get answers in a couple of visits. It may be a longer session, a longer time, but know that there's help for you. You don't have to be in the haze all the time, if you will. There are happy days ahead.
FJ:
Right. The last piece I wanna make sure I add is that, you know, you've been bringing up what the world's been going through. And I mean, these last couple years have been, it's no secret, it's been a lot. We've had a pandemic we're dealing with economic things, right. And now, we've got a war that's going on. Right. And so some of us are more sensitive to what's going on, and feel for people around us. And so that can definitely be an underlying factor playing into sadness as well. But again, I really would encourage you to talk to somebody about it, to just rule that out. Then you know, is this kind of connected to what's going on in the world? And if so, maybe, that mental health professional or counselor has some really great tips for how to manage that a little bit better. And then, you know. You know, then you try and then you're like, okay, well, that's all I needed to do. Great.
TU:
Those were some great final thoughts. Thank you for adding that. That was really, really good. Thank you. Falan Johnson, our guest on Mind Your Mind. It is always a pleasure to have you join us. Before we wrap up, though, I have one last question for you. And as what do you do personally, to mind your mind?
FJ:
Yeah, so it's any kind of way I can get mindfulness in, that's not so traditional. So for me, that's a run outside. Sometimes I take my earbuds out and I just take in the nature, the sounds, get grounded, and in everything that's going on around me. And just kind of reconnect with myself, and check in.
TU:
All right. Thank you so much. Appreciate you.
Speaker 2:
Thanks Tim.
TU:
Thank you for joining us for Mind Your Mind, a podcast presented by Dakota Family Services. You can't have health without behavioral health. Remember to mind your mind. For more information, links to additional resources, contact information, and much more, go to dakotafamilyservices.org.
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Fear is powerful. It can cause us to avoid problems, people, and even opportunities in our life. But it can also be overcome. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn speaks with Falan Johnson, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about the function of fear and how to face it. Learn where fear comes from, how to identify it, and how to calm down and build confidence when you’re feeling afraid.;
The Three R's: Regulate, Relate & Reason
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, our host Tim Unsinn talks with Dakota Family Services therapist Jessie Mertz about the “3 R’s”—Regulate, Relate, and Reason. They discuss what each term means, how they build upon each other, and how this approach can help you calm others who are experiencing distress.;
What is Schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia is a chronic, complex mental health disorder that affects around 1% of people in the United States. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychiatrist Dr. Wayne Martinsen discuss the symptoms and implications of schizophrenia, touching on its many effects on individual and family life. Learn about how schizophrenia is treated, how it affects physical health, when it tends to develop, and how it is perceived between cultures.;
How to Have a Conversation About Mental Health
Although the stigma surrounding mental health is gradually disappearing, it can still be tricky knowing how to talk about it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and psychologist Megan Spencer explore how to have a conversation with someone about their mental health, including signs that you should talk to them, how to start the conversation, and some possible reactions to expect from the other person.;
The Benefits of Being Outside
Are you feeling cooped up indoors? Join host Tim Unsinn and therapist Lucas Mitzel in this episode of Mind Your Mind as they discuss the importance of getting outside on your mental health. Learn about the benefits of green and blue spaces, activities you can do while outside, and how being outside can help improve symptoms of different mental health diagnoses.;
Dealing With Burnout
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, Tim Unsinn talks with psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski about the signs of burnout, how to prevent it, and how to know if your burnout is related to general life stressors or a mental health disorder. They also talk about the difference between fatigue and burnout, as well as how to support yourself and alleviate burnout when you’re experiencing it.;
Living with Chronic Illness
Many of us know someone who has been diagnosed with a chronic illness, or have been diagnosed with one ourselves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how chronic illness can impact daily living and mental health, as well as how to seek support if you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness.;
Bipolar Disorder: Understanding the Highs and Lows
Although the term ‘bipolar’ is sometimes used as slang to describe someone who is moody or indecisive, true bipolar disorder is a complex and sometimes severe mental health disorder that affects the way a person thinks, feels, and behaves. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn discusses bipolar disorder with nurse practitioner Amanda Daggett, touching on what the disorder is, what its symptoms look like, and how it can be treated.;
Social Media: Managing Emotions & Setting Boundaries
How much time do you spend each day looking at your phone? An hour or two? Multiple hours? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with therapist Christy Wilkie to discuss how social media use can impact our mental health, relationships, and behavior. Learn tips for monitoring your child’s internet use, as well as how to manage your own time spent on social media.;
Understanding OCD
While OCD is sometimes perceived as simply a desire to keep things neat and organized, it can actually have much more severe symptoms for those who experience it. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn meets with psychologist Dr. Megan Spencer to talk about who Obsessive Compulsive Disorder affects, what its signs and symptoms are, and how to seek help if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with OCD.;
Breaking Bad Habits
Bad habits can be easy to start but sometimes very difficult to stop. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Falan Johnson talk about breaking bad habits, including where habits come from, how to know if a habit is bad, and steps you can take to stop it.;
Finding a Therapist
Are you looking for some help on your mental health journey? In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and therapist Jessie Mertz talk about how to find a therapist, including what you should know when searching and what questions to ask when you meet a therapist for the first time. They also touch on what the letters after a therapist’s name mean, and how they apply to the type of services or treatment you might be looking for.;
Coping with Rejection
Whether it’s from asking someone on a date or applying for a job, we all experience rejection at some point in our lives. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with therapist April Morris about how to cope with rejection, including the common coping stages, the importance of acceptance, and how rejection can impact people differently.;
Borderline Personality Disorder
Like other personality disorders, borderline personality disorder is a commonly misunderstood and stigmatized mental illness. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn talks with Lucas Mitzel, a therapist at Dakota Family Services, about what BPD is, how it affects someone’s behavior, and where to seek treatment if your child has been diagnosed with BPD.;
Psychological Assessments: What to Expect
Do you think you might be suffering from an undiagnosed mental disorder? If so, a psychological assessment might be able to help. In this episode of Mind Your Mind, psychologist Dr. Hannah Baczynski and host Tim Unsinn talk about what to expect from a psychological assessment, including what an assessment might include, what information you might receive from the psychologist, and what you should communicate with your psychologist before and after receiving an assessment.;
Supplements in Psychiatry
In this episode of Mind Your Mind, host Tim Unsinn and Amanda Daggett explore the topic of using supplements for mental health. In addition to talking about some of the most commonly used supplements like melatonin and St. John’s Wort, they also discuss the benefits, the risks, and the research surrounding various supplements.;
Seasonal Affective Disorder (Community Chat Series)
Feeling like you’ve got the winter blues? If you’re noticing symptoms of depression with the change of seasons, it may be a sign that you’re suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD. In this special Community Chat episode of Mind Your Mind, therapists Christy Wilkie and Lucas Mitzel discuss the common symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, how it can affect other mental health disorders, and some useful tips, tricks, and resources for managing symptoms of SAD.;
Trying New Things With Confidence
Join Christy and Lucas, therapists at Dakota Family Services, as they share practical tips for building confidence when trying new things. From managing self-doubt to building resilience, this episode will empower you to approach new experiences with a positive mindset.;
Relationships are Hard
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore why relationships can be so hard. Join them as they discuss the characteristics of both healthy and toxic relationships, talk about the difference between normal conflict and abuse, and help you discover your love languages so you and your partner can best express your love to each other.;
Is Everybody Anxious?
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore anxiety. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of an anxiety disorder, what you can do to decrease your anxiety, and how to best help loved ones struggling with anxiety.;
Is Everyone Feeling Sad
In this episode, Christy and Lucas explore depression. Join them as they discuss the signs and symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, what you can do to help yourself feel better, and what you can do to help your loved ones. They will talk about coping strategies, therapy interventions, and ways to help you identify when your child might need extra help.;
Change is Hard
Change is inevitable. Join Christy and Lucas as they explore big and small changes and how they impact you. Learn why change can be so hard, even good change, and discover ways to manage it effectively.;
We Need to Talk About Suicide
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Christy and Lucas discuss the very important topic of suicide. Listen to learn about risk factors, warning signs, and what you can do to help a loved one who is struggling. Remember, you are not alone. If you need immediate assistance, call 911. If you need to talk to someone, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.;
Do We Need to Get Outside?
Join Lucas and Christy as they explore the power of spending time outdoors on mental and emotional well-being. Discover practical tips, personal anecdotes, and expert insights on the benefits of getting outside and reconnecting with nature.;
Exploring ADHD
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?" Lucas and Christy discuss ADHD, shedding light on its prevalence and impact on daily life. Learn practical strategies for managing symptoms and understand why your friend or loved one with ADHD does the things they do.;
Internet Safety and Mental Health
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", join our hosts Christy and Lucas as they delve into the complex relationship between the internet and mental health. With the digital age bringing information and social connections to our fingertips, it also presents unique challenges and opportunities for our safety and psychological well-being.;
Boosting Self-Esteem: From Marathons to Daily Triumphs
In this episode of "Is It Just Me?", Christy and Lucas discuss how common it is for people to see themselves differently from others. Using their own personal triumphs and challenges as examples, they outline the things that shape our self-esteem. Additionally, they share simple daily practices to help listeners recognize and celebrate their own personal victories. This episode is filled with tips and engaging stories aimed at encouraging listeners to undertake challenges that foster self-growth and personal confidence.;
Therapy Unveiled: What to Know Before You Go
In this episode of "Is It Just Me," Lucas and Christy talk about what it's like to begin therapy. Feeling apprehensive about starting therapy is normal, but surmountable. Together, Lucas and Christy unravel common myths about therapy and emphasize the role of therapy in disrupting negative life patterns and routines that are no longer serving you.;
Coping with the Back-to-School Blues
In the latest episode of “Is It Just Me?” Christy and Lucas tackle the transition from leisurely summer days to structured school schedules with warmth and wisdom. This episode is a must-listen for parents seeking guidance and strategies to help navigate the shift with confidence. Learn how to handle changes in routine, the importance of communication, and strategies to help the entire family adjust to and embrace the new normal. Listening to this episode can be your first step toward making back-to-school a season of growth and positive change for all.;
The Art of Overcoming Trauma
In this month’s episode of the "Is It Just Me?" podcast, Lucas Mitzel and Christy Wilkie, Dakota Family Services, dive into the complexities of trauma and its therapy. The episode sheds light on Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and the importance of creating a trauma narrative as a cornerstone of healing. The thoughtful discussions aim to educate listeners on the intricacies of trauma, the innovative methods used in therapy, and the role of caregivers in the recovery process. Through expert insights and compassionate storytelling, Lucas and Christy provide practical advice and real-world examples for individuals who have experienced trauma.;
Navigating Life Through Mindfulness
In this episode of “Is It Just Me?”, Lucas and Christy delve into the world of mindfulness and relaxation techniques. From body scans to mindfulness exercises, they provide a soothing experience to help you unwind and distress. Discover practical tips and advice on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine and learn how to prioritize mental well-being in today's fast-paced world.;
Mindfulness: Body Scan
In this special additional episode of “Is It Just Me” join therapist Lucas Mitzel as he gives listeners a transformative journey within their own body and mind. In this episode, Lucas guides listeners through a soothing body scan to promote calm, mindfulness, and inner peace. This episode offers a unique mixdown of gentle narration, and relaxation techniques, leaving you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and more connected to yourself.;